rèver.

pitch darkness.

staring into her empty eyes made me realize something.

the dull, tired, and pained look that she offered everyone.  no one ever cared to look though, since they just looked like pools of black ink.

her eyes that looked at everyone and anything, always observing.  piecing things together and watching them fall apart.

they were eyes that had experienced it all.

maybe not as much as other people, but her eyes reflected the nonsense conquering her mind.

pitch black and empty, no youthful sparkle.  just the burnt out reflection of a teenager.

never enough, she was told, but always enough at the same time.

nothing made sense, and no one would ever know why it didn't.  no one bothered anymore.

the things her mind made up, the things she had felt.  they could never be reflected onto another person. 

they could only reflect in her dark eyes, free for anyone to look into.

no one would know the empty feeling her chest felt.  that her stomach felt.  that her head felt.  or even what her heart felt.

no one was there to listen, and if they did, they took it as a joke. 

she was never sad.  she was always somewhat happy with a small smile to share to the world. 

because that's the only way she felt people should see her.

no one wants to mope around a sad person. 

there was a lot more they could've noticed earlier.

but no one cared to really check in with her.

she was dismissed, and she proceeded to lock it all away.

she was put to the side, told that her feelings were common.  they weren't worrisome whatsoever, it's just the "sudden wave of emotions teenagers get."

she can't tell people how she feels on the verge of crying throughout the day.  she can't even get a worried response out of anyone as she rolls her sleeve up, revealing her scarred arm. 

all people do is joke about it, relate to it, but they don't realize what's truly happened.

she really can't say anything.  she can't speak.  she can't voice her own opinion.  she can't say anything.

so, she sits in her room.  away from the kitchen and away from the world. 

her head aches, she wants to cry, yell her true feelings to her parents.

but they would become sadder than her, so she simply cannot.

all she can do is stare at her phone and type mindless words, waiting for the world to become pure darkness.