rèver.

dolonia - robert plant

it confused robert.

people liked him?  why?  why did people like him?

a man that shined as bright as the sun, but lived with the darkest, empty space.

why him?  what could've possibly been likeable about him?

this nineteen year old man, considerably still a kid at heart, with nothing but flowers on his mind.

it genuinely confused him; he wasn't that good of a person.

he completely disappointed his parents, borrowed money, and smoked too much weed.  to him, no one that lived like that could've been good.  he never liked how he was.

every time he looked in the mirror he saw no real reflection looking back at him.  he saw himself, clad in a girlish blouse, but he didn't really see who he was.

he's a singer, sure.  that's one good thing to his name.  his name that isn't even that well known.  it's just one all the girls talk about.

robert plant!  oh my gosh, did you see robby last night?  god, that plant guy was hot!

that's all he heard, but none of them took the time to know him.

no one really paid attention to him either.  granted, he stuck out in a crowd.  but that's because people are always looking and observing, never wanting to know the true meaning.  it's easier to look at something than try and pursue it.

robert's mindless smile dropped as quick as the joint in his hand.

he was unhappy.  too unhappy.

people didn't know that though.

his friends loved him.  they loved the way he brought life into the room, or how he instantly made their day.

did he really make their day?  he can't even make his.  how did he make all of theirs?

he wanted to know why people liked him.  maybe it was just the lack of reassurance and support he grew up with.  maybe it was his head playing tricks.

he didn't know and didn't really want to find out what it was.

so here he sat, stoned out on his best friend's couch, contemplating every move he made.

would he stop?  would he pick up another bottle of cheap beer?   would he pass out right now? 

suddenly, the joint was taken out of his hand.

bonzo, of course.  bless him, but robert needed this right now.

"mate, i think that's enough of that.  you've been going at it all day." 

"i need it though!  just give it back, will you?"  robert whined like a child, his head aching.

"you don't need anymore for now, okay?"  bonzo shook his head, throwing the joint to the side, "some people are gonna come over, if that's alright."

"it's your house, isn't it?"  robert replied rudely, though not intended.

his head pulsed.  why did he have such a tone?  his friend was helping him out, but he just had to be a brat.

god, he truly had a mind of a child.  how did people deal with him?  once again, how did people fucking like him?

bonzo simply patted robert's shoulder, leaving him to ponder at his thoughts once more.

robert groaned, gripping his curly hair in his hand.

everything felt off ever since he turned eighteen.  he couldn't find out what it was and honestly had no motivation to try.