Ugh, Sugar Mommy! (Marcos Clan Series #1)

Prologue

My fingers are kept running in her soft skin. Feeling the heat that coming from her body. She's breathing heavily while holding the blanket tightly that is covering her naked body.

I am facing her back.

I am also naked, kissing her back but I stop when I hear grunts and cries.

She's crying.

Humiga ako ng maayos and use my hand as a pillow.

"You're crying again." I coldly start the conversation. She's being quiet. "Why don't you just choose me?"

Now I found a woman who's not seeing me as a Marcos. I found a woman who gladly curses me when she's mad. A woman who doesn't care about money.

But a woman who'll never choose me.

Oh, of course, it hurts.

"Alam mong hindi p'wede." I chuckled with that. Her voice is so deep. A voice that I'll never imagine that she has. She sounds like a man who's inviting a fight. But a voice that is so sexy as she murmurs her I love you's in my ear. "Tumatawa ka na naman! Ang saya-saya mo talaga na ayaw kong manatili sa 'yo 'no?!"

You're wrong, Mi Vida.

You don't know how much you hurt a Nicola Charvy Marcos. You don't know how much it kills me, Mi Vida.

"Why don't you just choose me?"

I sit up. Tinalikuran siya and sighing heavily. I am so upset.

A Nicola Charvy Marcos got rejected by the person who confess that she loves me. By a person who's plain and always complains about my existence.

Does she?

"Hindi nga p'wede, Nicola. Ikakasal ka na."

"But I'm choosing you."

"Hindi p'wede."

Am I gonna win with this conversation or gonna lose again as always?

"You said that you love me." But she won't risk everything with me. She won't choose me kahit na anong sabihin ko sa kaniya.

Ang tanga niya.

"Pero hindi mo ako mahal, Nicola." I chuckled blankly.

Oh, Mi Vida. You never asked.

Hindi ko sinasabi but I never failed in making you feel what I really feel. You are just simply numb and look at my actions as a reward for being obedient to what I want you to do.

I never failed.

But now I failed.

You keep rejecting me and keep hurting me. You keep pushing me away.

A Nicola Charvy Marcos never begged.

But,

"Mi Vida, you know what I feel. Can you choose me? Just this one, fight for me. I'm begging you, Mi Vida."

I'm not looking at her but I know she can feel what I feel. She knows what I want.

"Kailan mo pa ginawang magmakaawa, Nicola?"

"Ngayon lang. Be thankful that I'm begging. To a woman who doesn't even know what I really feel. How numb you are, Mi Vida?"

I feel my heart aching in pure pain. It is hurt.

Nasasaktan ako? That's funny. I am Nicola, kahit kailan ay hindi ako nasaktan. Siya dapat ang nagmamakaawa na piliin ako. It should be her, not me in the first place. Ako ang may gusto na piliin niya ako. But she doesn't want to choose me.

"Maybe, it's not enough. I'm not enough for you to choose. Saan nga ba ako nag kulang, Silver?"

"Wala namang tayo." I chuckled painfully. I know I know na walang kami, but in my mind... she's mine.

"Dahil ayaw mo."

"Nicola." Here we go again.

"You don't want me because of your insecurities."

"H-Hindi—"

"You don't want me because you can't live the life that I use as a Marcos, Silver. You don't want to choose me kasi ang liit ng tingin mo sa sarili mo. I am helping you, but you keep declining. Ilang beses na bang nabasag ang ego ko sa 'yo? You keep declining every help that I gave. You keep saying you love me but you keep rejecting me. How's that, Silver?"

Surprisingly, a tear touches my skin. A tear that never shed.

Am I crying?

Kailan pa ba ako umiyak?

Binibigay ko naman ang lahat ng kailangan niya. I keep giving her all the things that she needs. I keep asking about her decision. I respect every decision she made.

And I forgot myself. Hindi ko namalayan na gusto ko na siya.

I can't say it pero pinaparamdam ko naman sa kaniya. I never failed.

She's just numb.

"Ayokong sabihin na pera lang ang habol ko sa 'yo, Nicola. A-At akala ko hanggang sa ganito lang tayong dalawa."

She never asked money kahit na kailangan na kailangan na niya. She never asks me a favor even if I'm dying to give her.

"Stripping in front of me is not enough, Silver. Moaning softly under me is not enough. Kissing you, having sex with you, and being submissive is not enough. I can live the life you want. Just choose me, that would be enough for now."

"N-Nicola naman! Hindi p'wede. Oo, sinabi kong mahal kita pero hanggang doon lang ang kaya kong ibigay sa 'yo. H-Hindi ko kayang lumaban. Hindi kitang kayang ilaban, Nicola."

Hindi sapat ang rason niya para basta na lang akong hayaan. Kagaya din siya ng iba. Babae o lalaki, pare-parehas lang sila. Aatras sila when you want them to fight with you. Wala silang lakas ng loob na ilaban ka dahil sa kadugawan nila.

"Duwag."

"P-Pasensya na, Nicola." Rinig ko ang mahinang hikbi nito pero ayoko siyang harapin.

"Why do you need to say I love you if you're not gonna choose me in the end? I thought you'll fight me. Hindi na lang dapat kita nakilala, Silver, kung ganito rin ang mangyayari sa huli. Wala sa plano ko ang mag mahal. Wala sa plano ko ang mag mahal sa kapwa ko babae. Wala akong planong mag mahal but you came into my life. You change everything about me. But now that you keep rejecting me kahit na ako na mismo ang nagsasabi na piliin mo ako ay you never failed to disappoint me, Silver. You're words and actions contradict. I can't trust your words. Isa na akong Marcos pero nagawa mo pang hindian."

"Nicola."

"If you want, I'll marry the stupid man that my Lolo wants me to marry. After all, hindi na kita mapapakilala sa kaniya."

May usapan kami ni Lolo, ipapakilala ko sa kaniya ang taong balak kong pakasalan.

I stand up and simply wear my clothes.

"M-Mahal mo ako?"

"Yes, pero aalis na ako, Silver. Ayokong manatili sa k'wartong ito. Manatili sa taong sinasabing mahal ako pero hindi ako kayang piliin."

Whatever her reasons is, wala na akong pakialam pa. Whatever she wants then be it.

She have her decision.

She can choose whatever she wants.

Kung hindi ako kasama do'n, then be it.

I smile at her painfully. She just lay there with tears in her eyes.

"I can't do this if you can't fight me."