The Crown and the Throne

Chapter Eight

Robin's foot connects with my abdomen, pushing me back. I stumble, the hand holding my sword faltering.

"Again," he says, taking a step back.

I regain my footing, pushing the strands of hair away from my face. I can feel droplets of sweat rolling down the back of my neck and under my leather armor.

I stand in a readied position, watching Robin, his arms, his legs, his face. I haven't figured out his tell yet. The first time he had jumped at me with the sword, we had not even been in the field, there was no warning.

Now I know to be ready at every second.

Unlike Sebastian, who would mumble with distaste at nearly every move, Robin is willing to test me instead of guide me. Like a child.

I glance at Sebastian standing with his arms crossed to the side.

Robin lunges towards me. I swing just in time for my sword to connect with his, blocking the blade. But the force makes me stumble. My sword arm falters as I try to catch my balance.

"Wait-" I start, but Robin ignores me.

He moves closer, looming over me. He raises his sword above his head and with a grunt brings it down.

I throw my empty hand up to block. The snow that fell overnight rises and flies towards Robin, hitting his side and knocking him back a few steps.

"No magic Ava!" he yells, readjusting his sword hand and beginning to run towards me. I fix myself and stand, ready for a hard hit. Robin jumps a few feet away from me. His wings spread from his back, a silvery glowing blur as he moves upward in the air, then dives down towards me, his sword aimed.

I sling my blade upwards. The hilt slips from my hand as the metals scrape against each other. My sword falls in the snow, standing upright with the tip of the blade buried into the soft white, almost a peaceful landing.

Robin's foot connects with my chest. Already unbalanced I fall, landing on my sword arm. I gasp for air, my breath visible in the chilly air.

I push myself up with my arm, a sharp pain making me cry out. Snow crunches under Robin's feet as he lands.

Fear runs through my body when I look at him. No, her. Her gray skin, eyes, the shimmery white hair that sat in a pile on her head. The Stone Queen wears the same armor that Sebastian and Robin put on so proudly each day. She stands tall over me. I can see the hungry, murderous gleam in her eyes, staring at me, smiling wickedly.

I feel a "no" slip through my lips, hoarse, low, terror ripping through my mind. I see her hands holding my mother's throat, squeezing, turning her skin into marble, killing her, cutting off her air and destroying more lives than just hers.

My arm stretches out towards my sword. It shakes in the snow before it levitates into my hand. I use it to pull myself out of the snow, ignoring the pain clawing its way through my arm.

Her fanged grin turns into a tight-lipped smile and her eyes narrow.

The Stone Queen raises the sword that hangs in her hand and begins moving towards me. I swing first. She blocks, surprise crossing fleetingly across her face before I try again. Anger boils inside of my stomach, leaving my body feeling hot. I keep going, moving closer to her. She moves backwards, though she doesn't lose her footing. Determined to knock her down, to find a way to ram my sword into her stony chest, to see her bleed or crack or do whatever could cause her pain, to make her pay.

My sword arm feels tired and sore but I push through it. She was here, this was my chance, I could end this all right now-

Desperation fills my mind. If I didn't do it now, then when?

"Ava-"

I ignore my name, I do not even know who calls it. Some form of a yell or cry or grunt escapes my throat.

The Stone Queen stumbles away from me, wide-eyed, arms held out in an attempt to balance herself. I brace myself in a squat then leap into the air, spreading my own wings, the flaming feathers heat melting the snow beneath me.

My eyes close midair, the blood rushing past my ears blocking out all of the noises. My arms move on their own, raising the sword above my head, fingers tight around the hilt. I point my wings just right to aim my body towards the ground. Towards her.

I open my eyes.

The Stone Queen is gone, and instead stands Robin, grinning, his sword raised to block my attack. I falter as I begin to descend towards him. The snow softens my fall when I land, narrowly missing his head.

As the anger in me dulls, a wave of sadness overtakes me, even as Robin's face holds the largest smile I have seen since the day my family died. Tears fall and a sob breaks out. I drop my sword, it landing in the trampled snow with a dull thud.

I needed to control myself, the crying, the sobbing, I needed to keep myself from wailing like I had done for weeks after arriving at Romilda's home, forced to drink calming potions that only kept me from having screaming fits and not the horrifying thoughts and images in my mind. Air becomes hard to reach, the lack of oxygen leaving me gasping, struggling. An invisible hand is wrapping around my torso, crushing me.

Real hands grab my shoulders, squeezing and shaking, trying to catch my attention. The only thing I see is the knife protruding from my father's forehead; my mother turning gray; Asher lunging away; Serafina falling; the fallen maid bouncing on the ground. I can hear my sister howling and my mother angrily asking questions and my father's body thumping against the table.

The months of suppressed thoughts and feelings were all flooding into my mind at the same time and there was no stopping it. The rage upon seeing The Stone Queen, even if it had not really been her, had opened the gates.

Snow envelops my legs as I drop on my knees. My head lays against something sturdy as I lean forward, body aching from the lack of air. Panic has begun to set in. I can feel my eyes rolling, trying to see reality, still blinded by the horrific memories. Something connects with my back, hard. Oxygen is suddenly sucked into my lungs, filling them with the frigid cold air.

I can hear reality echoing towards my ears, my name, over and over again: Ava. Ava. Ava. Ava breathe. Ava calm down. Ava. Ava. Ava it is okay.

I can breathe, but it is not okay, and I cannot calm down. Not now, not yet, maybe not ever. I will forever be trapped in a cycle of anger and sadness and pain.

Hands rest on my head, the fingertips pressing comfortingly into my scalp. My eyes close and the sobs subside.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, more to an empty void than to anybody around me. "I am so, so sorry."

My shoulders slump heavily. Tears continue to roll slowly down my face.

"That anger, Ava, that anger..." Robin pats the back of my head. The tiny headache that was building up in my forehead reverberates through my skull with each touch of his hand. "That is the anger that you need to fight the Queen of Stone, to defeat her, to save the kingdom. It's what you need to remember when you train, too. It worked for you Ava!" Robin's voice becomes giddy. His leg shifts and tenses. "We can win if you fight like that! We can, we really can, you just-"

"Robin." Sebastian sounds angry.

"You just have to kill her. Learn to use your magic to fight and it will work, I promise. If you kill her-"

"Robin, stop."

Sebastian holds my shoulder and pushes Robin away from me. I look at him. A haze seems to have fallen over me and my eyesight. Robin's blurry form looks ready to shove Sebastian back, but instead turns and leaves.

My arms hang limply at my side. I can hear my mother's screams in the back of my mind, echoing, the one thing that I truly wanted to do.