Grave Clothes

You are the God who sees

13 Then she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, You-Are-the-God-Who-Sees; for she said, "Have I also here seen Him who sees me?" Genesis 16:13 (NKJV)

I remember when I was in the ninth grade at some school in Junior Secondary. For almost two years, I had been topping my class. I worked hard. I studied as hard as I could every day and I thought I did deserve to be at the top of my class. At the time, I wasn't saved. I was the worst kind of person, but at least I had my academics.

School is the one thing that I was especially proud of. And even though I gave my parents a hard time, it's something that they really appreciated about me. In most countries, you write national exams to progress to high school and, I was obviously excited about that. I aimed for the best grades. In my country, when you write your exams, they pick the best six out of the many subjects you take, of course English, math and science being compulsory.

I enjoyed learning. I still do. And, Agriculture was my best subject. It wasn't because I loved it so much, but I just had certain advantages and so, I maintained an average of 90 throughout my studies at this particular school. To cut the long story short, when I finally did write my exams, my Agriculture grades were not recorded. I still do not really know exactly what happened. I didn't have my best subject, so that reduced my grades by a huge percentage.

Like most countries, there are certain top schools that require top kind of grades. I wanted to belong to the "Ivy League" schools. I wanted to be one of those that had made it there. Every nerd wanted to be there. Even those that didn't even study that hard. We all just believed that if you didn't make it to the Ivy League schools, then you were probably not learning enough or you were far behind in comparison to those who had made it. For someone who had enjoyed top grades, this wasn't a good experience for me. I was used to getting A's but this time, I had a B. And this B, wasn't enough.

I am sure we have all had times when we didn't feel very adequate and times we felt incompetent in our different areas of expertise or just in the things we tried pursuing. I thought I had failed. And again, it wasn't a failure. But this was. It was hard to believe that I hadn't made it.

Our adequacy is from God

Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. 5 Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God – 2 Corinthians 3:4-5 (NASB)

Had I been born again then, maybe I would have known that our adequacy comes from God. I know sometimes that even as believers, we struggle with our identity. We struggle with how we see ourselves and sometimes it might be because of comparing ourselves to others and the standards by which the world measures us. Because life is transitional, what might have worked in a previous season, might be irrelevant in our next season. Whatever the case, it is from God that we should draw our adequacy.

No matter how much we try to blend in with the standards of the world, we'll still not be enough. The world is always changing. But what God thinks about us never changes. That woman with the issue of blood had been stained. For many years, she had only been known as that woman that had an issue of blood. When Jesus came, He didn't seem to see that. He called her by a different name. And He calls us what He sees in us.

But the woman, fearing and trembling, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell down before Him and told Him the whole truth. 34 And He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction." - Mark 5:33-34 (NKJV)

Jesus must have known her situation. But he called her a "daughter." I imagine her joy and excitement. She probably experienced freedom from the healing words of Jesus. When Jesus comes into our lives, He changes everything about us. If all our lives we lived in shame and chained to all kinds of addictions, Jesus can change all of that. When He speaks, He speaks life.