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Simon wanted to see her. He'd wanted to stop by the night it had happened, wanted to grab her hand and use it to tether her down, stop her from going anywhere. He'd wanted to go visit her before his shift at the grocery store, he had flowers and everything, bought from the same section Maddie had bought Heather's flowers from only one day earlier.
He'd wanted to go to see her on his way to help Kate babysit, sitting in his car until he was about to be late, eventually deciding against it.
She didn't want to see him. It sucked. It was a thought that kept him awake at night, pressing his face into the pillow she slept on, desperate to cling onto the lingering smell of when she was his. It was a thought that had him stopping by her locker when he knew she was in class, a note clenched in his hands so tightly it was at risk of ripping, before he eventually bit the bullet and did rip it, shoving it in the pockets of his hoodie, one of the few that didn't smell like her, one of the few he could wear without feeling like he was going to die.
He knew he couldn't avoid her forever, despite how much she wanted him to. It was a small town, they were bound to run into each other at one point. Simon just worried that he would be too late, when he did eventually muster up the courage to see her.
Simon loved her, and that had been the thing that had ruined them. He wanted go back to that night, to take her hands in his and stop himself from telling her how he felt. To say it differently, to say it better, to say it in a way that might have her saying it back.
Simon felt his stomach drop every second they travelled closer to the hospital. He wasn't even going to see her, he was going to see Sam, so she could tell her asshole boyfriend Peter to stop fucking with them. He'd given his hoodie to Maddie before she went to the hospital, and his shirt had holes in it now, still covered in Sam's blood from the night before. He poked his thumb through one of them. Mrs Lane from down the street was babysitting the twins until they got back, so he could probably just go home and change. Burn the shirt (along with everything else Maddie had ever touched while in his bedroom), then see if he felt better.
He just needed to handle being in the same building as her for half an hour, and then he could leave her alone. As Deena parked, he tried to shake off the feeling. But every step towards the door he took felt like a hand closing around his throat (and not in a good way) until the doors opened and he stepped inside. He'd done it.
Deena stormed up to the front desk, where the woman seemed way too unbothered for someone who worked in the only hospital between two towns. It looked like Deena wasn't goint to be able to get in, visiting hours ended almost an hour ago, but then Kate stepped in. "Tell nurse Beddy she has a patient,"
Simon hung back, he could feel Maddie's presence pulling him down the hallway. He didn't notice Beddy had gotten to the reception area until he heard. "See you're still toting around with this moron,"
