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Cindy really did hate fighting with Evie.
She'd been feeling so horrible lately, horrible to Evie, horrible to Ziggy. Horrible to herself, most of all. But everytime she thought of Evie it made her skin crawl. Cindy loved Evie more than anyone in the entire world, and oftentimes that scared her. She'd be going off to college after this summer, she had an acceptance letter from the University of Michigan tucked away in her nightstand drawer at home. She just had to get there.
Evie was staying in Ohio after graduation, she wanted to be a nurse, and what better place to be a nurse than in the most violent town in the country? She'd be going to the community college in Sunnyvale, commuting from her house.
The idea that her and Evie would be in separate states next year and probably for the rest of their lives filled her with dread.She'd never been away from Evie for so long, she had been Cindy's best friend for almost her entire life. She didn't want a new best friend.
Plus, with how they'd both been lately, Cindy wasn't sure if either of them would make the effort to reach out.
She didn't like picturing Evie with other girls, she knew Evie had friends, sure, but she didn't like to really think about them. Cindy had other friends, too. She had Danny, but her friendship with Danny was different. Cindy knew that she would put Evie above Danny every time, but watching Evie and Julia together Cindy felt cold. She missed her.
She didn't know why she was thinking like this, she wanted Evie to be happy, and Julia was lovely. But Julia was also staying in Shadyside to get her teaching degree, and the idea of the two of them together all the time while Cindy was off in Michigan made her want to throw up.
She couldn't believe anyone would think that she liked Danny more than Evie. She loved him, of course, but Evie was just different in a way that she didn't fully understand. She hoped that Evie saw her the same way.
She couldn't tell Evie either. She most certainly wasn't meant to feel like this.
In some ways, she was grateful that Kurt tattled on her sister, it gave her something to think about rather than the pain in her chest.
She couldn't believe Ziggy would be so selfish. Cindy knew that her and her sister didn't get along very well, but Ziggy knew how important this summer was for her. Their mom had been scraping every cent she could together for Cindy's college fund, plus Cindy's babysitting and camp counselor money for the last five years. Even so it wasn't enough, and if Ziggy got kicked out then she'd have to leave too. But of course her sister just had to break the rules for the sake of being a brat, and it left Cindy to pick up the slack every single time.
Ziggy didn't break the rules just for breaking them. No, she broke the rules to made Kurt's life as difficult as possible. If her sister got caught in the crossfire, then Ziggy supposed she'd just have to get over it. Cindy liked to blame all of her problems on Ziggy, so she had very little sympathy for her.
