The Loneliest Girl in the Universe

Chapter 2

Penelope lived in her own head.

In her head, the world was a safe bubble to feel comfort and peace. Her reality didn't look that way. Out there, Penelope never felt the hand of love and gentleness.

Sometimes she felt herself craving that. It was almost a need for someone to hold her hand and love her without doubt, without qualms, without condition.

Unfortunately, the only place she could find that was in her mind and in her books.

She lived her life through books. At least she pretended that she was every character that found a happy ending. She didn't much care for the stories with a tragic end. She liked to read romance novels with crude words that made her toes curl and kisses that left her wanting to know what becomes of their relationship.

She doesn't know if she's ever loved someone that way. Or if she's ever been loved the same.

Once upon a time, she thought she loved her parents. But after a chain of disappointments, she learned that her parents were too far away from her to love.

When she was born her father already hated her. He called her a burden and a money spender. Said it got in the way of his budget for heroin.

Her mother always resented her. Penelope liked to run her hands through her mother's curls, wishing her mother loved her the way she did. That's the thing about wishes. They weren't real.

As Penelope grew, she learned to manage herself. She walked herself to school, signed all of her permission slips, and signed forms for enrollment to carry them the next day under the pretense that her mother worked late.

Penelope was intelligent. She knew how to raise herself and handle her own. She used to watch the movie Matilda, wishing she would find her own Ms. Honey, to take her away from her fucked up family.

She dreamed of living on a cottage with a house that had a wrapped around porch in the woods. Would she get married? Is she capable of love? Is she capable of being loved?

Penelope wasn't sure.

She attended East Highland High; she didn't love the scandals and the rowdy crowds. But she liked to sit in the courtyard at lunch and read. Penelope was never one for friends. She didn't really know how to make them.

The sweet strawberry blonde girl often wondered to herself, would there be anyone that would love me for me?

I'm poor, ratty, and quiet. Who would love me like this?

She liked to read Harry Potter books, finding solace in Hermione and Ginny. They were outspoken and spunky with so many things to talk about.

She sighs every time when she sees that they are braver than she'll ever be.

It's not like there's anyone to talk to, anyway.

Her mom had lost her job, again. They were in their one bedroom Aparment, when her mom entered yelling incoherently about the fuckers at work. Penelope didn't feel like dealing with her mother that night.

She watched her mother wobble to her room, slamming the door shut, leaving Penelope on the couch, looking at the wall.

Maybe she should go out. Get some fresh air.

She slipped on her dark combat boots, grayed for wear. Penelope grabbed her book, falling apart before stuffing it in the pocket of her jacket.

She went under the couch, taking out a small tin box with money she had saved.

Once she stepped out of the apartment, she felt like she could finally breathe. She wasn't sure where she was gonna go.

She just couldn't be anywhere near her mother.

Her eyes darted to a bar not too far from where she walked, seeing that it was new.

"A&F's bar."

She'll have to pretend she's old enough to be there. Her fingers pat her coat pocket, feeling the fake ID she got from her next door neighbor who smells like meat and Fritos.

Her eyes looked around at the bar. The place was clean and everything looked updated. It made sense for the bar to look presentable since she walked just far enough to enter the rich part of town.

Her eyes darted towards the bar top, watching the back of a guy that looked young from the back. His shoulders tensed and moved in his black tshirt. The back of his head showed that he had a shaved head.

She noticed no one bothered anybody here. Maybe this would be a good hiding spot for her. The library was 2 bus transfers away and she didn't feel like doing that.

She sat on one of the stools, keeping her eyes on the boy. Once he turned around, she let out a tiny gasp only she could hear.

Fuck, he's pretty.

That was the best way to describe him. He was tall, lanky but he looked strong. She surprised herself with the attraction she felt for someone with face tattoos.

Even in her stories, she preferred the boys that were safe and gentle with a heart of gold that wouldn't even think about hurting her.

This one looked like trouble. But who was she to judge? Her family was fucked, she probably had unresolved daddy and mommy issues, and she had no friends.

Something about his eyes made her stare and watch. She felt hypnotized. Although his demeanor showed authority and anger, his eyes said the opposite. He had the kindest eyes she's ever seen.

She was in love.

Snap out of it!

A glass cup clinked in the distance, falling on a table on the other side of the place. Her mouth frowned and she broke eye contact immediately, looking at her hands.

He served her and made her smile with his voice and seeing right through her lying about her age. He continued to steal glances at her but said nothing.

Eventually, he became busy, prompting her to pull out her book to read. She felt his eyes bore into her and the book she had, as If she felt him focus on the book.

She pretended not to look, but she couldn't focus on the words. He left, making her sigh in relief, diving into her story once again.

When he gave her that book, a replacement of her ratty book she brought...she thought she would pass out. Why is it when someone shows her just a small amount of kindness, she's hooked and enamored?

She needed to reel back in and remember that these weren't books. She wasn't in her favorite romance novel, and she certainly wasn't in her own fairy tales.

She introduced herself, feeling the need for him to know who she was. She knew his name, so why not?

His smirk was gentle and kind and almost mischievous after he said he liked her name.

She's so fucked.