Piece By Piece

Part 23

-Bucky's POV, the next morning-

I went to bring her breakfast, the same smoothie she used to make herself in the mornings. I feel like maybe something that she was used that wasn't painful to think about would help. I knocked on her door three times and waited. After a few moments of not hearing movement through the door, I knocked again. Maybe she was still sleeping? I made sure to knock harder this time. Still nothing.

"Y/n..." I called through to door, trying to coax her out. Nothing. I began to get anxious, and all I could picture think about was the feeling of her broken body in my arms as I carried her away from the Hydra base. I tried the door and was surprised when it opened. I thought she would have locked it. I pushed the door open gently, trying to be as kind to her and least threatening as possible, but when the door revealed a perfectly made bed and no sign of her, my heart leapt into my throat. She can't be gone. We just got her back.

I called a meeting at her room immediately, and began throwing doors open in her room. I checked the closet, the bathroom, everywhere and came up empty. Steve rushed into the room soon followed by Natasha and then the rest of the team.

"She's gone, she's gone. Where the fuck did she go?!" I shouted at the team. Steve held his hands out, gesturing for me to calm down.

"Hang on, Buck. Did you look for a note or anything? Tony can you get JARVIS to check the cameras?" Tony nodded and I frantically searched the room for a note of some sort. I opened drawers, searched shelves, and finally came across on sitting in the bottom drawer of her nightstand.

There were a few wrinkled spots on the front of the folded paper where the word Team was written in her handwriting. It looked like the ink had bled from water. She was crying when she wrote this.

"Here.." I mumbled. With shaking fingers I unfolded the slip of paper and read the message out loud.

"I'm not going to lie, I'm scared, but I'm tired of living with people who hate me. I'm tired of hating myself every day. I'm not going to tell you where I've gone, and I'm not going to come back. I can't even lie and say I wish you all the best, because I don't. None of you will ever know a fraction of the pain you've caused me, but I'm going to leave knowing that I have the power to kill all of you, and I didn't. You owe me your lives. Knowing that I've been gracious towards you horrible people is satisfying enough," I said. "There's one more part." I shift my eyes to the bottom of the paper. "If any of you have any brains you won't try to find me. I chose not to kill you once, I won't give you a second chance."

That was it. Either let her walk out of our lives forever to follow her and have her try to kill us.

"We're going after her right?" I ask Steve, who has his arms crossed and his eyes trained on the floor. After a moment of hesitation he looks up at me.

"Yeah buck. We're going to go after her. Even if she kills us for it."

-Y/n's POV-

I set my bag down on the hotel floor and ran to the bed, finally allowing the pain and anger burst from my chest in heavy, sharp sobs. I curled my arms around my knees and hugged them to my chest as I laid on my side, with my lungs screaming as I forced air out of them with every sob. I felt my heart cracking apart with every cry.

I had no parents. I had no brother, and my sister disowned me. I had no friends, and no family. The last man I was with tried to beat me to death, and the last person I trusted betrayed me more than anyone else, by forcing me back into the hands of the organization that ruined me.

I was wanted by no one.

I would be missed by no one.

Nobody wanted me, or even needed me. I had nothing. My life which was once full with my parents love and my siblings' friendship was an empty pool of trauma and self-hate.

I wish Hydra had killed me when they got me back, because all I wanted to do was die, and now, with this new mutation, I had no idea how to do that.

I cried for 8 hours that night. All I wanted to do was cry. All I could do was cry. I felt empty. I had no purpose, no hope, no love, nada.

-time skip: four months later-

I had settled in Paris, in a small studio apartment above a bakery and coffee shop. Every morning I woke up to the smell of fresh croissants and coffee, with the birds singing outside my window. I had a good life. I even had a regular job. I worked at a little bank, made decent money and painted on the side, just for fun. I wasn't even good, I just liked it.

The morning came and I yawned, stretching my arms above my head and craning my neck to stretch out the sleep stiffness. I eventually made my way to my kitchen and began preparing a bowl of fruit, humming a little tune in my head. I contemplated my life as I sliced strawberries.

I had gotten over it, the whole heartbreak over Pietro. I realized that if he had seen the way I treated myself after his death he would have been so disappointed in me. I pulled myself together, stopped smoking and drinking, and went to therapy. I didn't miss anyone. Except Barnes sometimes, But I try not to think about him. And Banner. I missed Banner. But the rest of them could go fuck themselves. I had forgiven myself. Not them. My blood boiled at the thought of them, so I set the memories aside and focused on making my tea. I loved my life now. I was happy, safe, and content by myself. Steve had said before I was captured that the whole team was on board with me being kicked off. So it was the perfect solution for everyone.

I was gone, and they could go keep being hero's without the burden of me being around.

Later that night I went walking out in the streets that were filled with people. There was music playing, fairy lights twinkled from street posts, the river. I smiled at couples passing by and walked until I found and nice bench that overlooked the area. I sat down and listened to the sounds of the music and people below all interacting. I opened my eyes and took in all the lights. They reflected off windows, and bounced off the water flowing from fountains. As I continued to observe the lights of the city, a motion in the sky caught my eye. A fucking Quinjet. I felt a tickle of energy float across my skin almost immediately.

I was at peace. There was no need for them to come. They didn't need me, and they certainly didn't want me. I walked quickly back to my apartment, no longer enjoying my evening. I ran up the stairs and unlocked my door with shaky fingers. Once I was inside I hauled the large duffel bag out from my closet and began throwing things inside, clothes, chargers, anything I would need that I wouldn't have time to buy. I threw in a couple packaged snacks, and a few pairs of shoes. With my heart racing in my chest I zipped up the bag and went on my phone to purchase a plane ticket. I found one to Italy, and as I was just about finished completing the purchase, there was a knock on my door.