The pain......

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At exactly 8:45pm

I was standing in front of the ward watching my mother fight for her life, with alot of beeping machines connected to her . After a while the machines stopped beeping , my dad looked so confused he was about to panic
" Sir Please I want you to calm down you have to be strong......." The doctor tried talking to my dad .
I became numb and completely unaware of my environment at that point , I couldn't keep the tears at Bay any longer . I finally got a hold of myself when I felt a pair of little hands tugging the Hem of my shirt .

I turn to my little brother Sterling who was completely unaware of the fact he just lost his mother, he was just five years old . I squat down to his level and force a smile

" Ashy will mom be okay??" He asked looking worried

" Yes carrots , mom is going to heaven now so she'll be okay " I said engulfing him in a hug .

Later on......

I hold Sterling till he falls asleep , we were still at the hospital before my aunt came to pick us up since it was late and my dad was still sorting out some bills at the hospital.

At home ..........

I tucked Sterling in bed and went to the living room to wait for my dad
My aunt was sitting down on the couch probably still in shock after loosing her sister in-law

I sit next to her looking at one of my mom's picture on the wall.
My aunt hugs me , I hug her back crying my eyes out. We stay like that for awhile before I released her.

" It gonna be okay" she consoled
I force a smile and give her a small nod before standing up and whispering a good night.
I went to my room and lay on my bed knowing fully well I won't be able to sleep off . I picked a picture of her , hugging it . "If I were with you maybe I'd be with you now"I whisper to myself.

Few days later the day of the funeral was fixed .
Saturday morning.......
I was dressed in a black dress as it was the day of the funeral.
After the funeral service we headed to the cemetery .
We stood there all friends, family, and colleagues as the priests speaks
I wasn't really paying attention, I was looking at her stone , on it the word craved were

Rose Jordan
Beloved
Wife
Mother
Sister


Born - 1982
Died - 2018

More tears streamed down my face as her body was lowered to the ground , I walked towards it but my dad stopped me hugging me . " Let me go !" I tried pushing him away but his grip was too strong .

"Don't! Ash she's gone" he said trying to calm me down.
"And I'm going with her"I said admist tears

He pulled away to look at me
" Then what happens to me and Sterling?" He asked but I didn't respond, I didn't think about them and that was selfish of me .

"I'm sorry dad . For being selfish" I whisper
He hugs me again"we're in this together" he said before kissing my forehead.

"It may be hard but that's the best part cuz we the Jordans......" He adds
"Stick together" I complete
"Good" he said before releasing me , holding my hand and Sterling's as we head to the car .

This is gonna be hard......

Author's note:
Thank you for reading the book to this point . Please do vote and tell me what you think.

The picture at the top is how I imagine Ashley to look like 😁😁

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