Numbing The Pain

The pain....

Two years later

"I can't believe she's gone" I whisper to myself.
"Ash" my dad called out , we were all in the living room ready to go to the cemetery to see Mom , today marks it two years since her death and it feels like a bad dream that I can't wake up from .

"Let's go" Sterling said holding my hand as we walk to the car .
We got to the cemetery and walked to her grave .
It seems so unreal
Could this be a dream perhaps??
If only it were......

" We miss you Rose. Rose , we're moving. I got a promotion like you've always wanted and we're moving to California. " I heard dad say but it's all in my head , it's as though I couldn't hear anyone speak but their lips were moving.
"Ash? Wanna say anything to Mom" Sterling said shaking me gently

I shake my head , I couldn't firm the words . We're moving to California??
My dad's words begin to sink in my head .
He wants to leave mom?
Why would he want to do that?

My cheeks turned red out of anger and then angry tears streamed down my cheeks, I walked away, before I started running, I could hear voices calling out to me but I could care less what they had to say .

I ran and ran till my legs grew weak and I fell to the ground and cried.

Minutes later I heard footsteps behind me before the person hugged be from behind, I knew exactly who it was .
"I'm sorry I didn't tell u earlier Ash" my dad said
"I'm not moving"I said
"I can't leave u behind"
"Then don't go "I cried
"It's not that easy Ash . Please don't make things harder than it is already"he said turning me to look at him "please" he pleaded.

"When do we leave?" I ask looking away
" The next two weeks"
I got up and helped him up
" We stick together" I said hugging him .
"Thank you"he whispered

We head back to the cemetery, Sterling is already in the car.
"Dad ? Can you give a few minutes Alone with Mom??" I ask looking towards her grave

"Take your time, we'll wait in the car"he answered heading towards the car.
I went to her grave and knelt in front of it.
Tears flowing freely down my face
"I miss you mom , so much, so much
I'd give anything to be with you right now. We're moving to your dream country mom , but you'll always be in my heart , always" I whisper offering a sad smile. " I love you" I blow a kiss before leaving.

At home******

When we got home I went up to my room . My safe space , it has being my comfort zone since my mom died I never leave my room unless I want to go to school or eat and I hardly eat I've become so thin i feel like a flat pencil sometimes.
My dad made me attend therapy session but it didn't even last a month because nobody could tolerate my rude and arrogant behavior.
I am a complete wreck that can't be fixed........

Two weeks later we had all packed and ready to move .
I stood in front of the house with my box relieving all the memories bittersweet memories .
"Bye bye home"I whisper before going into the car .

It's time for a new Dawn..,......