The Wild One

chapter 8

Tandis in the mm

I woke up today to check what the time was. 12:35pm have I been sleeping for that long?.for some reason I felt weird.
Beep beep beep.
It was coming from my phone so I rolled over to check what it was. 18/04/15. As soon as the date hit me tears began to form in my eyes. Its been 1 year since my mum died  so today makes it a year. Which means I had to visit her grave today.
I got up and made my way downstairs maybe to remind my aunt and tell her my plans for today. Sadly she wasnt in meanin she left for work early in the morning.  I guess i have to go by myself.
I went back upstairs to do my hygiene and get ready to go to the cemetery.
I decided to settle for  grey crop top, Timberland and dark blue shorts. I checked the weather 25degrees. Going to be hot today.
I went in the bath added my strawberry bubble soap and started bathin. 30mins later I came out smelling of strawberries. I creamed myself with cocoa butter and put my pants and bra on. 10mins later I was ready. I took my bag, put everything I needed including my purse and oyster and made my way to croyden cemetery.
I took the bus which was 50mins to an hour journey. By 2 I was there.  I made my way through the cemetery and came upon my mothers name.
  Rebecca Moreen Jones
            1965-2014
I miss her. I miss my bestfriend, my everything. "Things haven't been the same without you mum, I miss you soo much, you left an empty hole in my chest.  Is not like I even know my dad to feel safe,  all I had was you mum and now uve been taken away from me." I started cryin I just wanted to scream and shout but notin will bring my mum back."LORD WHY DID YOU TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME, WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE HER JUST WHY!!" I screamed. I traced the name on the stone. And closed my eyes, remembering her smile, her voice,  her gently talk and I swore I felt a hand on my shoulder and a voice telling me everything is going to be ok.i wanted to believe it, I wanted everything to be ok. As much as I've got aunt Andrea she still aint my mum. Me and her dont have the kind of bond or connection I had with my mum. I can never get close to someone the way I was with my mum. Because imagine if I get close to someone and they get taken away from me. I wont be able to handle that so I always have to make sure I keep everyone on an arm lenght and never let them close.
" you didnt deserve to die mum, it wasnt your time but am going to promise you.i will make you proud, I won't let you down mother." I stayed there another 30 mins talking about anything.  Talkin to her felt like the happiest thing since shes been gone.i felt a lot of weight being lifted from my shoulder. 
I keep everything inside, my emotions anger and a lot more and I never talk about them.one thing I cant handle is the truth. Ave been told I live in denial which I think is bs but I cant go around tellin everyone how I feel. That's just not me
But with my mum I can tell her everything because I know she listens to me.
I check the time and it was nearly 6 damn have I been here for that long? Didnt even know the time was flyin. I decided it was time to leave. " well mum, I have to go now, dont worry I will come back soon and I promise to visit more often. It was nice talking to you.  I love you mum" with that i got up, brushed my self and started my way out.
Beep beep beep
My phone started ringing in my pocket.
"Hello" I picked up without checking the caller ID.
"Chante where you?" I looked back at the caller id and it was Marcus.  Funny how I forgot about him.
" just in Croydon, why you asking? " I said I decided to take a walk instead of jumpin on the bus straight away.
" can i see you please since i havent seen you in a long time?" He asked. To be honest I have nothing to do so I might as well go.
" alright but I wont stay for long because ave got things to do" I said. I wasn't planning on staying for long. I just want to sleep.
"Thats fine just come mine yh" with that he locked of the phone.

Since he lives in Stretham, it wouldn't take long for me to get there. I jumped on bus 50 going stockwell station.  I sat down stairs and put my music In.i let my mind relax and just enjoy my music.
It was time for me to get off so I pressed the bell and got ready to get off. The walk to his house is like 5-6mins. With the sun on my back I felt like the walk was almost 10mins.
I knocked on the door and within seconds he opend the door smelling nicee.
"Come in" he said holding the door for me.
"Thanks" I entered and I heard him close the door.
"Chante?"he said still standing at the door. Before I knew itt he dragged my hand and pressed me against the door and started kissing on my neck. I will lie if I said I didnt like it because thats my weakness. But something in ny mind was telling me to stop. I didnt wona stop.whiles kissing me neck,he started to unbutton my shorts and sliped his hands in the shorts.
"Hmm" I was liking every moment. I havent had sex in a longg time so havin one right now I didnt care. Atleast it will take my stress away. He then sliped one finger in me making me moan. Something wasnt right.my mind started to think about something, someone, i have to stop but I don't want to.
"Marcus st..opp...."I moaned, he knew how to make me want him. He carried me to his room. Put me on the bed and got on top of me.
Hee took my shorts and panties off. I started to imagine things in my head to make me more wet. His name came to my head,his fingers, the way his hands felt around my waist, the way we was soo close to kissin, his lips, his body. The sexual connection
"Dylan arhh" I moaned.
"Whatt??"huuh wah did I do?
" whos Dylan??" Marcus asked. Looked pissed
" I dont know" I said acting dumb. Why df am I even thinking of him.
" yes you do. Whos Dylan chante" he asked again. Whys he getin angry kmt. Is not even that deep
" is really not that deep Marc relax is my aunties child, I just remembered I have to pick him up from street dance" am I really a bad lier? My aunt dont even have son.
" dont lie to me chante like why df are you thinking of another boy when am trying to please you" he got up from the bed and stood near the window. "I thought I was the only boy your dealin" he now turned around starring at me. Well he thought wrong but he don't need to know.
" of course you are the only one dont over think now, your my one and only babes" I said tryin to sweet talk him.
" I love you chante" LOOL ok.he cane to me on the bed tryin to go back to what we started but I wasnt feeling it to more. I have to leave.
" yhyh me too I need to go marc is gettin late" I got up and started looking for my clothes.
" I will drop you just stay for a bit" he came behind me.
" nah is iytt I will jump on the bus but I actually have to go" I put my clothes on and went downstairs. "I will call you" I said and came out of the house.
Phew.