Ok, maybe there's some shit I should've considered before I decided to keep this baby. Or before I got pregnant. Or before I started bitching out. Man I dead don't use my brain for shit it seems. I grip the carpet below me and curl my toes to the point of cramping as another searing pain rips through me, I look up at Donte as he sleeps comfortably I can't even call out to him I'm in too much pain.
"Don...mhmm." I try but just end up falling backwards and rollover to cry, I give up.
"Stinky." Donte sleepy voice makes me shiver as he gets down on the floor and blankets my body with his.
"Hurting." I whisper.
"Tummy rubs?" He asks nuzzling me, I relax and nod.
This shit hurts so damn bad which is so scary to me. I'm not showing or anything yet which means the baby isn't developed like that yet, so why am I in so much pain? I hope nothing is wrong, even if hopefully it's nothing serious.
I really do want this baby.
Next morning I'm sitting in the waiting room with a pissed off Donte. He's mad because people keep staring at us which is understandable, we're two males sitting together waiting to see an obstetrician but at the same time people should try minding their own business.
After waiting restlessly we're finally called in.
"Hey it's you again so soon." Dr. Jose smiles then frowns. "I hope you're not reconsidering." I quickly shake my head no confused as to why he'd even think that. "That's good and I'm sorry it's just... you're not my first male pregnancy and unfortunately the pain always drives them to reconsider." Ain't no way this pain a part of the process, I think to myself in disbelief.
This is bullshit, is all I can say as the doctor goes into detail about male pregnancies. The only information I manage to soak up is that I'm going to be in pain the full nine maybe ten months.
I'm not having any more kids, I'll do it this one time after that I'm ending my subscription.
Donte tries his best to cheer me up as we make our way back to my dads house.
"How bout we start looking into our own place? He offers, this actually calms me.
"I'm not going up or down any damn stairs." I've always found multi story house annoying, can we even afford a house? Maybe a lil apartment because rent prices are reasonable over here but a whole house?
"We need something spacious with mad privacy." Heavy on the privacy, I'd live on the moon if I could just to avoid people.
When we arrive back at my dads place that Donte has temporarily moved into cause his mom is still being a bitch my dad is up and nervously waiting on us.
"I'm fine." I say as I throw myself at him.
"And the pain?" He rubs my stomach.
"Apparently pain is all part of the process and it gets worse each month." I frown relaxing into him.
"You better take care of my baby." My dad squints his eyes at Donte. "I know you can't take his pain but be there your presence will make it somewhat easier." I hug my dad tightly as sadness overcomes me.
I got lucky, not too many people would be so calm and open about their child being with the same sex especially if that child is a male that can bare children, I got lucky. My heart goes out to everyone who was unfortunately born into families with people like Donte mom, my heart hurts for him especially he's about to be a dad and he has no one but me to share that journey with.
"Your dad!" I blurt out as my mind starts spiraling.
"My mom tried her best to keep us apart and it worked for a hot minute but I do have some contact with him." He sighs. "I believe he's convinced my mom has brainwashed me so he just avoids me." Donte shrugs, my poor baby really been through it.
"I still have some contacts from my P.I days I can help." My dad speaks up.
"Please?" Donte turns to him.
My dad nods heading inside.
"Yay!" I throw myself at Donte, he catches me with a laugh.
"I'm scared." He whispers into my hair.
"I know baby I know."
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AN// I may never complete this book, sorry not sorry. I'll work on new ones tho, y'all should go check those out.
I've been working on the next chapter for MONTHS and getting nowhere, I don't know what the beef is but for right now I just can't with this book.
