Living with Death

Memories

The tears were slowly streaming down my face. I didn't try to stop them.

I looked at Niall who was staring at the ground stunned. I got up and limped over to him and hugged him.

He got up and hugged me back. We stayed like that for a couple minutes until I heard Niall whisper "why him?"

I knew it was really over.

We both cried harder into each other's shoulders until Niall pulled away and whispered "thank you. I need to go tell Sophia so I need you to go to Louis room. It's in front of Zayns' room. Promise you won't go anywhere else."

I nodded and he gave me a small smile and started walking down the hallway.

"Niall!" I screamed just before he was about to turn. He turned and looked at me. "Where's Liam's room?"

He looked confused but screamed back "next to Louis!" Then he was gone.

I walked down the hallway and stopped at the familiar library door. This is where it all started.

I turned and kept walking. The memories of everything that happened filled my mind. I wanted to cry but I couldn't.

By now I had reached the training room doors. I pushed them open and walked down the same route as before.

Now I wish someone would talk to me just to get the memories out of my head for just a second.

I pushed the metal doors that lead into all the hallway filled with rooms. I looked at Louis room knowing I should go there but I have to talk to Liam.

I walked to the next door and knocked, it was already opened. I slowly walked in, no one was there. I heard muffled sobs coming from the bathroom.

I ran over to the door and tried to open it but it was locked. I softly knocked and whispered "Liam are you alright?"

"Yeah, just leave." He said sternly.

"Liam open the door, we could talk about what happened and go get something to eat maybe. We could help each other deal with this."

He didn't answer so I grabbed a chair from the little desk tucked away in the corner and placed it in front of the door.

"Please Liam."

He vigorously opened the door and walked right past me.

"Liam come back please. This is hurting me just as much as you." I said while looking down.

He turned to me and walked angrily towards me.

He was only inches away from my face when he said "don't you dare say this is hurting you. You didn't even know him. Unlike you I new him since we were kids. A stranger died to you, to me my best friend did."

He turned again and started walking away. Sadness turned to anger I screamed back "Do you think I'm heartless. Yeah, I might not have known him long but it's because of me he's gone. Do you understand how hard that is to cope with. I KILLED SOMEONE. He turned into a demon because of me. He went to Devils trail because of me. He died because of me."

He turned to look at me again with more fury in his eyes. He calmly walked over to me and pushed me.

I fell back and looked at him with disbelief but he didn't seem to care. His eyes were dark red and his voice was low.

"Shut up would you. You didn't kill him. You can't control if he lives or not. You think you have it bad because you lead him to pain. I LEAD HIM TO DEATH. Did you hear me. He would still be alive if it wasn't for me."