I Can't Stay | Rin's Letters

2

He ruffled into his school stuffs, and found a business pad paper and a newly bought black pen. He quickly laid it down into the desk as he try to control the overflowing emotions he has been keeping.. He started writing and automatically his emotions build up into his eyes.

Dear Samu,

Hey, I don't know what to say or do, but Samu I want you to know how sorry I am for everything. You know as I write this letter, I could really see your face, like I wish to kiss you and be with you like before.

Tears started to roll out of Rintarō's face as he continued writing his first letter addressed to his now ex- boyfriend, Osamu.

I could still remember the time  we first met, and it was the best day I could remember in my entire life. It was amazing. It remains the best thing ever that happened to me. You are the best person that makes me feel loved, Samu. You are the best person and I feel like I'm the worst. I'm really sorry, Samu.

Rintarō started brushing away the tears that continuously rolled down into his cheeks, and stared at the tears which fell into the paper... He tried his best drying those tears, but they kept flowing out like a river that never stops. It's just painful writing those words... like a knife poking holes into his heart.

Once he was able to control those tears, he grabbed the pen again, and continued writing.

I know, I made you cry before Samu, but seeing you cry makes my heart withered in sorrow and I couldn't take it. You mean a lot to me. You are my everything. I don't have enough words to say to apologize to you. A simple sorry wouldn't make it up to you I know, but I want you to know how sorry I am, Samu. This isn't enough, I'm aware but Samu please know that I regret hurting you like this. I just wanted to protect you. I want to keep you safe. I want to see you smile, I want you to be happy.

Rintarō held his head high from the table, and tears started building up again like it never will stop. He buried his face into his palms as he whimper in so much agony.

Konami approached him, and handed a handkerchief which makes Rin cried more and sobs even harder. His fianceé rub his back to comfort him, but he felt more vulnerable to pain. He cried for the next few minutes, until he decided to face the white paper again.

Konami pitifully looked at Rin as she walked to the bed and sat there staring at the latter.

If you only knew the truth, you'll definitely be so angry at me for letting my father to dictate and decide things on my life. But you see, Samu, I won't allow him to do something horrible to you and your family because I love you. He threatened me but I don't care but when he said he'll do everything to force me on this marriage, even if it means killing other people, I gave in. My father is a person who always do the things he says for the sake of money, and pride. I won't let him hurt you. So even if it means I have to sacrifice myself I would do it for you, Samu. I know it makes you cry and cause you pain but I'd rather be away than to take risk for your safety. I'll always love you, Osamu.

It may be selfish of me to decide on this on my own, but Osamu, this is the best thing I could do. I wish you nothing but happiness.

Once this is over, I promised you, I'll take you back, my love. I'll explain everything and we'll spend the rest of our lives together.

I love you, Osamu Miya

-Rintarō Suna

He burst out crying as he fold the letter and placed it inside a small white envelope. He opened his desk drawer and placed it behind colored folders.

He lowered his head, bit his bottom lip, and laid his head into his arms folded in the desk.

Rintarō cried all night, tears staining his cheeks with tears he couldn't sway. He felt miserable and fell asleep with deep sorrow in his heart, Osamu painted all over his mind.