Abuse.
treat (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.
Abuse.
It was different when it was coming from someone you love and care about. Normally you put the abuse to the side and forget it's abuse because of how much you love them. You discard every wrong thing they've ever done to you because of how much you love them.
Abuse.
Tolerated for only so long until you get tired of the same shit. Same reaction, constant yelling, and crying. Eventually, all of that tires out. The love never stops. It never goes anywhere.
I woke up to the screams of my niece, Kai. It has been a week since my sister and her daughter came to live with me. Let's say it's not going as well as I thought it would be going. Tai wasn't what you call 'tidy', she's like Adam Sandler in "Big Daddy". Clueless as to how to properly take care of a child, but who was I to criticize her parenting when I didn't have any kids of my own?
"Stop screaming baby, it's okay. I have your milk right here." I heard my little sister say, to calm her raging baby down.
I walked into the kitchen with my robe on, seeing that kai was now calm and Sol was crying, a silent cry. Something mama had taught us to do when we were scared but did not want to be confronted. I guess old habits never die.
"Sol." I cleared my throat and as did she, turning around I saw her wet face and red eyes.
"Go put Kai in the room so we can talk." I put a little bass in my voice so could hint that I was serious about talking to her.
Sol and I are four years apart, we grew up under the same roof with the same mother and father. We were very close while growing up, but when Sol announced she was pregnant we distanced ourselves from one another, including our parents. My parents would not allow her to be under the same roof as them, saying she was a "disgrace" to our family name.
I had offered Sol a place to live, but she insisted that she had everything figured out. She would live with her boyfriend and they would take care of their child together. If she insisted, I had to let it go.
Now I was starting to regret my decision.
Sol stood by the wall awkwardly, waiting for me to tell her to sit so we could begin talking, but I didn't. I just said whatever came to mind.
"Are you still in school?" I asked, hoping that she was.
"Online, I can't really watch her if I had continued to go on campus." She informed me and I nodded my head.
"What about her father? Is he in school? Or is he employed?"
"Why are you asking me questions pertaining to him? Or myself for that matter. I can handle m myself and my child if that's what you are getting at Elani." Sol crossed her hands over her chest, looking at me with a clear mug on her face.
"Being that you called me, I came to your rescue like always. So I'm going to have a few questions, and you don't have anything together Sol. Look where you are standing. Tell me if it's together." I sassed her back.
"I don't need you Elani."
"Keep telling yourself that, as I was saying. Do you have a job?"
"I will not let you sit here and question me Elani, you did not care before so you should not care now, just let me be. Kai and I will be out of your hair soon." She rolled her eyes.
"If I did not care do you think you would be here? I helped you because I'm your sister and I love you. When you first found out you were expecting I helped you, not mama, not daddy, or your bum ass boyfriend, me! I was there. Quit trying to discredit me because you feel like you have it together when you don't. " I raised my voice.
I understood why my sister was getting offensive, that's how we grew up. Not to be questioned and to stand up for yourself even when you are wrong.
"I'm trying Elani! I'm fucking trying. This is not as easy as I thought it would be. I barely sleep and she takes up all my time. I'm getting beat on by my boyfriend who promised to love and cherish me."
I stared at her while she stood there and cried. I felt bad but at the same time, how can I help someone who doesn't even want help for themselves? As much as Sol pleaded that she wanted to help I knew that she would only continue to go back to that situation.
"Do whatever you want. I can't help you if you get offended every time I ask you a simple question. I'm going out. There's food in the fridge." I stated, before going to my room to change.
I grabbed black leggings, sliding them on along with a black top with my sage-colored cardigan. I slid on my black Birkenstock sandals before walking out the front door.
