𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫, 𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘀𝘀

𝟎𝟕𝟗

"𝙿𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚐𝚎𝚜"
ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘶

     "THEY FOUND THEM?!" Noah asks as she bumps into Emily in the hallway outside Penelope's office.

"We think so," Emily says and sees Noah look behind her shoulder.

"Where's Parker?" Noah questions, not seeing the boy in the bullpen.

"He's—"

"Em, where's Parker?" The teen asks again, making Emily put her hands on Noah's shoulders.

"Noah, he's at the hospital."

"What?" Noah mutters as she looks blankly at her mother.

"The unsub turned in his mom," Emily begins with a frown, "She's not in good shape, Noah.  She was hurt — badly."

"So, she's in the hospital?" Noah mumbles.  Emily nods as she takes in her daughter's expression.  It seems terrified while lifeless at the same time.

"I'm sorry, babe," Emily coos as she strokes Noah's cheek.

"What are they gonna do?" Noah asks as a tear drops down on to Emily's hand on her cheek.

"I don't know, love," The mother sighs and pulls Noah in for a hug, "Can I talk to you later?  At home?"

"About what?" Noah asks through a sniffle.

"We'll talk about it then, okay?"

"Okay," Noah agrees, just wanting to curl into a ball.

"Why don't you go sit at my desk?" Emily offers.

Noah simply nods and drags her feet to the floor next to Emily's desk.  She curls her knees to her chest and stares at the spot Parker once sat.  She regrets yelling at him, saying words she does not necessarily mean.

ɴᴏᴀʜ

I regret yelling at him.  I regret saying words I don't mean.  Well, I meant some of them, but I wish I had held back the anger.

Everything I say and do is out of emotion.  I try to come off as this cold soul, but I'm not.  I only come off like that because I have a funny way of showing love.  Well, maybe not funny, but a weird way.

I only told Parker all that stuff because I love him.  Maybe not in the way that he wanted me to, but in a I-would-never-wanna-hurt-him way.  Even after everything, I don't want him to think I hate him.  It sounds crazy, but I don't have it in me to pretend that I don't miss him.

We have so many memories that no one knows about.  We would get breakfast on the weekends at the diner.  We would sit on the dock late at night, talking about everything and nothing at the same time.  We would take boat rides on sunny days without his Dad's permission.  We would go to our favorite pizza place and sit past closing because Rossi introduced me to the owner and he'd let us stay.  We talked about traveling together after graduation because we both think we won't be ready for college.  We would make funny videos together when we were bored with all our inside jokes so only we could understand the humor.  We would go to the mall and try on dresses and suits that we could never afford.  We would take walks next to the river until we got tired and I made him carry me back.

Everyone keeps telling me to let him go, but I can't.  He's like a brother to me, and even though that may not be what he wants to hear, it means something to me.  He's everything I wish Nick would've been.

I don't understand how to let that go.

—
ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ

Emily sits at her desk, getting a head start on the reports.  It has been a hectic day and the last thing she wants the team to have to do is paperwork.