𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫, 𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘀𝘀

𝟏𝟎𝟓

"𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙵𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝"
ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘴' 𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵

     "PLEASE TELL ME that you didn't read my journal," Noah grits as she holds in her anger as she waits for Emily's answer.

"Noah, I wasn't trying to invade—"

"Oh my God. I can't believe you'd actually do this—" Noah mutters as Emily continues to ramble.

"I swear I didn't purposefully find it, you left it on the floor and I was curious. You don't tell me anything—" Emily says as the two talk over one another.

"I tell you all kinds of stuff!" Noah shouts, "Are you kidding me?! Anything I don't tell you is because I don't want to! Whatever was in there wasn't for you to read!"

"I know, but I was worried about you and—"

"You're unbelievable," Noah snaps as she stands, heading for the staircase.

"Noah, you can't always run away when we start arguing!" Emily continues her spiel as she follows Noah upstairs, "You don't get to run away from this!"

"You're really gonna dig into me after what you did!" Noah shouts as she turns around and eyes her mother, "You tell me you read my journal and your response is that I can't run away from this?!"

"I'm just saying, Noah," Emily says as the teen walks down the upstairs hallway to her bedroom, "Talk to me! This is what I'm here for—this is why I read it!"

"I don't even know what that's supposed to mean!"

"I don't understand why you hide all these things from me," Emily says as they make it to Noah's bedroom, "I mean, I'm your mother—"

"And we didn't even know that until a couple months ago—" Noah dismisses Emily's argument as she storms into her bedroom.

"Why would you even bring that into this?!" Emily exclaims as she follows her daughter in.

"Why would I not?!" Noah asks as she paces back and forth.

"Because it's irrelevant to this situation!" Emily yells as she watches her daughter's steps.

"That's not true!" Noah snaps back.

"How come?!"

"Because it's all one big problem!" Noah shouts as her hands shake, the urge to break something growing by the second.

"What does that even mean?!" Emily snaps as she throws her hands up.

"That you had me, gave me up, Gia abused me, Dad left me, Nick killed her, you came, and everything is just as shitty as it always was!" Noah roars as she lets out all her anger. Emily has never heard Noah's voice raise that loud, but she does not realize it because of her own anger.

"I thought we were over this!" Emily hollers back, all boundaries thrown out the window.

"How could I ever be over this?!" Noah shouts, "You left me! That will never be something we can shove down and ignore!"

"So why don't you ever tell me that?!" Emily fumes, "You're ignoring it by never talking about it!"

"You're ignoring it by never taking into consideration how I feel!" Noah complains with rage, the room finally going quiet for a moment, "You asked me to forgive you, fall for the sappy story of you not being ready to have a child, and live happily ever after! That's not how life works, Emily! My mother hurt me! I wasn't old enough to remember who she was, but how was I supposed to feel when I figured out it was you?!"

"Was I supposed to accept it because it was a long time ago?! Move on because you somehow came back into my life?! Forgive you in an instant because at least you were better than Gia?!" Noah takes a deep breath as she feels the heat in her body, "Because that's what everyone keeps telling me to do, but they don't know what it's like!" She continues to shout, but her voice starts to crack, steamy tears rushing down her cheeks.

Emily stands still, letting her daughter take in the emotions. After all, she wanted the truth. She has to take it, no matter how much it hurts.

"No one knows what this feels like," Noah rants through her tears, "It's like there's something wrong with me because I can't get over something that hurt me!" She growls as she points to her chest, "I was hurt! I was sitting in my room every night begging for someone to save me! Begging for my real mother to come back and take me away! And then she did and it didn't change ANYTHING!" Noah shouts and lets her head fall, tears and hiccups taking her voice away. The teen falls to the ground and sobs, making Emily rush over and sit beside her daughter.

The mother takes her daughter into her arms. They both cry as every emotion spills out of them. The anger seems to dissipate as they hold each other with all the strength they can give.

"Dad's gone, Nick's in jail, Gia's dead, Haley's dead," Noah murmurs through whimpers.

Emily holds her daughter tightly, not wanting her to fall apart. It is as if Noah's pieces are coming undone and Emily is squeezing to keep them together. Noah pulls away from the embrace and holds Emily's face in her hands.

"And you are my mother," Noah mutters, "And I love you, but you hurt me. And I never said anything because I didn't want to hurt you. I wanted us to be happy and for you to think I was okay because you're not like Gia — you're a thousand times the mother she ever was. You care and I knew it would tear you apart if you knew what I felt."

Emily sobs as she holds Noah's wrists. The teen takes in her mother's face, peering into the brown eyes she sees nothing but love in.

"And you're crying and it's because of me—"

"Noah," Emily stops her daughter from blaming herself, "I'm crying because I love you and I would do anything to take you away from this world. The world that's hurt you — the world where I hurt you."

Noah drops her hands from Emily's face, taking her hands in hers instead. Noah looks down at their clasped hands, noticing how they fit together perfectly. All she ever wanted was her mother's hands in hers.

"I keep asking myself if the hurt was to get to here," Noah says quietly, "To be with you and let me heal from everything I went through without you."

Emily stays quiet, the only thing being heard is their sniffles.

"I know loving me isn't easy—"

"Noah—"

"Let me finish," Noah pleads, Emily falling silent once again, "I know it's not easy, but burying everything down and living life with you is."

"Noah," Emily coos, lifting her daughter's chin, "Loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done."

Noah lets out a breath that she was holding in. Her shoulders fall as the tense moment seems to dim and there is nothing left but love.

"I'm sorry that I read your journal," Emily says, "I shouldn't have done that and I won't ever do it again. And you were right, maybe I don't trust you, but I will from here on out. I'll give you space to think and have feelings, but that doesn't mean I won't worry about you."

"There are a lot of things I haven't told you..." Noah trails off, "I knew at some point you'd figure that out, but if we can help it, I'd like to keep them untold for a little bit longer."

"I can do that," Emily agrees as she nods.

"Just until I'm ready," Noah adds.

"When you're ready," Emily replies and kisses her daughter's forehead, "I'm sorry," She whispers as she holds the teen's cheeks in her hands.

"Me too," Noah whispers back and brings her mother in for a tight embrace.