Being homeless is not as bad as one would think it is. In fact, it's much better than whatever the everyday person goes through.
The truth is, I've grown an attachment to the way the sound of New York life keeps me up at night, and how the scent of rotten food is near me due to the grocery store right next to my home.
Sometimes I see people making music outside by banging on plastic paint buckets as drums. They always leave a hat in hopes of people dropping spare change in there for them. But I know it's useless, however I enjoy listening to them. Rarely anyone leaves money for people like us. Everyone is far too caught up in their material objects to realize the truth.
But I used to be blinded by the dream of wealth along with these people. It took me a long time to find a different dream.
"Do you have any extra change?"
They don't even make eye contact with me.
"Do you have any extra food?"
"No, sorry," the women said sincerely.
"How about spare change?" I ask to her.
She never responded to the second question. I could tell she was wealthy and had money by the look of her face. So I didn't understand why she couldn't offer just a dime or two. Unless that's how she stays rich.
Deep down I knew it was hopeless. And I think that's why I decided to head back to the alley and sleep for the night. As I walked home, I went passed a quite expensive coffee shop. I've always wanted to go to that coffee shop for some reason. I see people there, sitting and having their overpriced coffee. They taste the bitterness and I'm not entirely sure if they even like it that much. Do they really like that expensive coffee any more than low-priced coffee? But for some reason I still felt the need to be apart of that sort of lifestyle, where I could have a sip of that coffee, even though it might not make me anymore happy.
But I still stood there, barely having enough money to feed myself. So I continued to make my way home.
That night, I decided to make it my goal to get enough money to get a cheap apartment to stay in. I would pick up extra hours on my job, I'd stop spending so much money on food I didn't necessarily need to live.
I walked to work, which just so happened to be at the gas station a block away. It's a pretty small place, but it got a lot of business.
However, my boss was very careful with his money, to put it bluntly. He created a lot of frustration within the workplace. I hate being there though, and I wished to find a better job eventually.
But for some reason, things kept stopping me from quitting. Despite all the strange customers and robbery attempts, I simply couldn't find the courage to leave. So I stayed where I was.
That day, all of that changed. It started out with my boss calling out my name; "Sheryll, could you please have a seat in my office." He said this so nonchalantly that I assumed it was something very minor. That being said, I didn't think much of it when I walked away from the cash register and sat down in front of his desk.
"Sheryll, the money we are consuming is slowly declining," he began. "And I need to save money by getting rid of some of my employees."
That's when I became conscious of what was going on. I assumed he was either going to make me fire someone else, or I was fired.
"Sheryll, I'm afraid I'm firing you."
"Okay."
He looked at me astonishedly, as if he was in utter disbelief that it didn't matter that much to me. It was almost like he wanted me to start crying.
And I left without another word from him ever again.
Two years later
I was all the way on the other side of the street when I saw it.
I crossed the street, almost being hit by a taxi. This was no surprise considering that I didn't even look for cars and it was the middle of the night. But I continued running across the street to the coffee shop I always dreamed about.
I completely forgot that this was the place I would go to once I became wealthy. And there I was, waiting in line to buy a $6 cup of coffee in the middle of the night.
I had to work late hours at the office in hopes of getting another raise, which is why I was so tired and wanted to get back to my apartment. My apartment was very large, however I wanted a larger one because on of my coworkers owned a large one that I resented her for.
It took me a year to find a new job after losing the one at the gas station. I struggled a lot more to find food to eat, but I eventually worked my way up and became wealthy.
Once I got my coffee I thought to myself. This is to celebrate my wealth and achievements. In hopes of growing a larger fortune, just like everyone else, I thought to myself. I took a sip to find that it was too bitter. That's when I realized that I didn't even like coffee. I spat it out, with an unanticipated realization of the bitter frustration that this money has given me.
That's when I realized something. I just spent so much time and money on that coffee and it was too bitter.
I threw it into the street when I had a sudden realization that I wasn't even happy. I was tired of having more money than I need and I missed that alleyway I used to sleep in.
So I ran and I crawled up into the corner of that alleyway and felt truly content for the first time in a while. I had a strong sense of nostalgia and familiarity with this alleyway. I decided I'd never leave this place.
As I woke up that morning, the sun was bright. I sat up and looked around at what I used to think was the liveliness of New York City. But the truth is, New York is far from being alive. These people don't know the truth behind happiness. They're all too bitter because of the money and expensive items that they don't even think about what being content really means.
I stood up and couldn't believe what I just decided. Why would I want my goal to be money just because that's everyone elses goal? Money is made of paper, and I will never let paper control my entire life.
That's when a civilian walked towards me and handed me $5 bill. I looked at it and when I looked up, he was walking away.
So I ran after him. I stepped in front of his path and handed the money back to him.
From that day on, I spent the rest of my life without earning a cent and I was more happy with that than anything else.
