Bring Me To 1D (One Direction fan fiction)

Vajazzled!

VAJAZZLED!

BETH - UK

"Drop...me...out! This is the best colour ever Stace! What d'ya reckon Beth babes?"

Rylan whipped back the curtain of the spray tan room and pranced across the floor in his boxer shorts, waving his hands excitedly in the air...

"Oh my God!" I gasped, unable to hide my shock.

He pivoted around as if he'd just reached the end of a catwalk runway and posed with his hand on his skinny hip. "What babe?"

I paused for a second trying to think of the appropriate thing to say. "It's nice, it's just...um..., well it's a bit... orange."

"Of course it's orange babe'," he said looking down at his Day-Glo coloured legs. "It's an Essex tan! The more orangey the better innit Stace?"

Stacey appeared from the behind the curtain, her tanned fake boobs busting out of the tiniest stretchy top, the lids of her eyes weighing heavy from her massively bushy false eyelashes. "Yeah,yu're in Essex now Beth darlin'. Essex tans 'ave got to be orange. That's just how we do it. You're just not used to it babe cos you're a posh girl. Your tans are probably like 'burnt mahogany' or something like that."

"I've never used fake tan before."

"Drop...me...out!" Rylan's mouthed dropped open dramatically. "Are you actually kiddin' me?"

"Nope," I forced a smile, feeling yet again as I had many times in the few weeks since I moved to Essex, like I was some kind of alien that had just landed.

The salon phone rang and Stacey tottered over comically in her stilettos. "Good afternoon 'The Bling Studio, how can I help?'"

Rylan, noticing that I was looking down at the floor, ran up to me and gave me a big bear hug. "Aw, you’re gorgeous just the way you are honey. I just want to eat you up with a spoon. You're just so beautiful and innocent and," he stopped mid-sentence looking up in the air as he searched for the right word "Pure! You're so pure, why would anyone change you, you're perfect."

"Thanks," I smiled weakly.

"You're welcome." He looked at me and smiled, giving me a heart-warming flash of his dazzlingly camp smile then jumped to his feet. "But...babes...you do need a little bit of fake tan on you. Show us the colour chart Stace!"

I shook my head. "I don't really think I want to..."

"This one! This would be a good starter colour." What this shade called Stace?"

Stacey looked up from the appointment book. "Tango."

He started to come towards me, shaking the can of spray tan, a determined look on his face.

"No!" In a panic I jumped up from the chair and darted behind the till counter so that there was a physical barrier between us. I felt bad as I watched his face fall in disappointment. "Not just now Rylan. Maybe tomorrow."

The front door of the salon opened and a girl, who looked like a clone of Stacey, fake boobs, hair extensions tan, and long nails with union jacks painted on them hobbled in on the highest heels I'd ever seen. She was holding a small dog dressed in a Versace knitted sweater with a diamante studded collar and a blue bow on the top of its head. I breathed a sigh of relief as Rylan's attention was quickly diverted.

"Alright Zara babes? Come for your bikini wax?" Rylan chirped.

"Yeah babes, it's Friday innit? Never know, I might get lucky tonight. Better to be prepared, know what I mean?" She nudged my arm, winked at me and let out a high pitched giggle.