Ashes

→ chapter twenty-one.

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LEAH WAS IN COMPLETE and utter disbelief as she gawked at her own reflection in the long wall mirror of her bedroom. 

Her mirror image was a stranger. Her haircut had grown out, curling soft just past her ears, and it complimented her face, softened and gentled the harshness of her Phase-changed features. 

And her clothes...

Clothes were difficult to find, given her new muscle mass, but with Rosalie's exuberant wealth and keen fashionista eye, she found herself with an entirely updated wardrobe. Gone were the men's clothes that hung off her, the only things that fit her, replaced instead by a variety of well-made and tailored clothes. T-shirts that didn't strain along her broad shoulders, jeans that didn't glue to her muscled thighs, things of that nature. And a lot of shorts that weren't too short and comfortable.

Armed with a new wardrobe, she felt brand-new, reinvented, and like the old  Leah.

Tonight was her first official date with Jake, and she couldn't have been more excited. She'd been humming and smiling all day. Both Forks and La Push would see them together and know they were a couple.

Her outfit was equal parts sexy and casual. High-waisted jeans that complimented the muscles of her thighs and her tones calves, an open-throat blouse that made her feel ridiculously pretty and feminine, and heeled sandals that exposed her red-painted toenails. Sure, it was far too many layers if she needed to Phase but tonight was special. There would be no Phasing, no Pack, so tonight she wasn't a wolf warrior but just a woman.

She puckered her mouth in the mirror and deliberated on lipstick. Her makeup was minimal, just some eyelashes and mascara and she'd even shaped her eyebrows.

"Holy shit," Embry said from behind her. 

She turned to find him standing in the doorway, wearing a wide-eyed, gobsmacked expression. A frisson of pleasure burst inside of her at his reaction. 

After Sam and the Phase, she'd entirely given up on retaining any vestiges of her old life. Her new body made no room for the delicate lacy camisoles and the miniskirts she often wore, and so she'd lost any desire to be feminine. It had been a long time since she felt this good, especially since she'd Phased.

"What?" she asked without looking up. "Do I look bad or something?" The humor she'd attempted to project into her voice fell flat thanks to thin quiver in it.

"Very much the opposite, Lee." He gave her a blinding smile as he motioned for to spin for him, and just to humor him, she obeyed. "You look stunning." And like he always did, he said something that was far too observant, far too knowing, hitting the nail on the head with little to no softness. "You'll knock his socks right off, if he's even wearing any." 

Leah's heart hammered at the words as his words struck a chord she hadn't realized could be struck. Her stomach was tight and heavy with dread, her nerves making her feel slightly nauseous, as she glanced at the clock and decided to head out early. 

"Hey," Embry called from his spot against her doorframe, his dark eyes meeting hers, "be safe. Have fun. Make sure he wears a condom. And don't do anything Paul wouldn't do." He flashed her a crooked grin and she rolled her eyes at Paul's indignant, emphatic "Shut the fuck up, dude!" 

As she slipped out the front door, she heard Embry cry out in pain and couldn't stop the smile that curved her mouth up.

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Lacarta De Oaxaca's parking lot was largely and mainly empty when Leah parked her 1996 Volkswagen Golf.

Her stomach somersaulted as she debated on turning around, that this was a mistake, that he didn't really want to be seen in public with her. Her breathing tipped towards hyperventilation the longer she sat, her thoughts tumultuous. Then she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to reassure herself he wouldn't ask her to do anything.

No, she thought. That's just your nerves.

Unwilling to sit any longer and wrestle with her thoughts, she turned off the car, unbuckled, and climbed out. She didn't bring her bomber jacket with her despite the sharp chill of early February within the air. She was so frazzled, it didn't register until she was inside the lobby and the host gave her a strange, quick look that told her he thought it was odd she wasn't wearing a jacket. If teenage boys could walk around in shorts with snow on the ground, she could brave the chill without a jacket.

"There should be a reservation," she said, hoping her voice didn't wobble with nerves, "under Jacob Black."

The host smiled and directed her to a booth located near the back of the restaurant. It was cozy without being claustrophobic, and without thinking too hard about it, she ordered some white wine. She just needed to relax. 

Tonight would be fine. 

Tonight would be perfect. 

She didn't know how long she sat there, examining the laminated menu, sipping her wine nervously, but something prompted her to look up and when she did, her heart stopped.

Jake was walking towards her, smiling that silly little boyish smile, his hair draping his shoulder in a sleek braid, dressed in a collared shirt that did too many things for his arms and chest and pressed jeans. 

"Wow," she blurted out when he stopped at the table and bent low, giving her a shy kiss on the cheek before he slid across from her in the booth. He was so big, he overflowed, and his foot curled around the back of her calf. 

Even with the other people here and the scent of food from the kitchen, she could smell his familiar, comforting scent and the tension in her stomach eased. This was Jake, her Alpha yes but most importantly he was someone who'd suffered the same heartbreak she had. He knew her pain and saw her past it.

"Don't you look...just wow," was the first thing out of his mouth, and God help her, she giggled like she'd never been complimented before and took a long sip of her wine. She even batted her eyelashes.

"Don't you clean up nice," she replied with a laugh, eyeing where his hand rested flat on the table before giving into the urge to hold his fingers between hers. He seemed surprised, his eyes flitting to hers for a second, before he relaxed too. The taut slope of his shoulders dropped. He'd been nervous. 

"Yeah," he murmured. "You do." 

And Leah felt the weight of those very words in her bones for the first time in a long time.