I solemenly Swear

The Promise

"Promise you won't tell." She folds her hands together, kind of like she's begging me to make this promise. Her dark curls falls around her face and she kinda closes into herself. 

Something is wrong. I've seen this once before when she was freaked out about starting her ...period.

"Okay, I promise I won't tell anybody." I say, actually hoping it's not something bad and I'll regret making this promise. I'm not exactly the one my family comes to with secrets, as I tend to say things without thinking.

"No, Cash, you have to pinky swear." She holds up her pinky and I can't help but notice she doesn't have that smile in her eyes that I'm so used to. 

Did something happen?

"Okay," I hold up my pinky and she steps towards me. This has been our thing since we were kids, and I know how serious she takes our pinky swears.

"I solemnly swear," Her voice shakes as she looks into my eyes, "say it."

I lock my pinky with hers and together we say, "I solemnly swear till time runs out, after no one else is left, our word is all we have. I solemnly swear my word is my bond and it CANNOT be broken."

Amara tightens our pinkies together and her eyes dart around the room, until they lock onto mine. "Cash, I'm adding a stipulation to this pinky promise because — because if you break it, our friendship is over and my life will be screwed up, because of you." I don't understand what she means, but I nod because she's my best friend.

"I promise." 

She tightens her pinky around mine one more time before letting go and folds her arms over her chest. 

"What's the matter."

"It hurts," she falls onto her bed, the bed we've hid under as kids, the bed we've laid on watching scary movies for countless hours. "I want to keep it locked inside, but if I do, it'll get worse."

I sit beside her, doing the one thing I'm good at. Listening. 

"I did something stupid ..." she trails off and shakes her head. "I let Tony in a few nights ago when my parents were out ..." She trails off and I see tears slip down her cheeks. 

I see it, the way she wraps her arms around herself. The way she has a hard time looking at me. 

"I told him no, that I wasn't ready and he — he wouldn't stop."

Wouldn't stop? Stop what? I want to ask, but I want her to finish telling me.

"He said he's going to send everyone a picture of me and tell them I'm a slut who wanted to do it. You know me Cash, you know I wouldn't do that, right?" She looks up at me and I nod because I do know her, I know she wouldn't do something like have sex.

"I know." I wrap my arm around her and she leans against my shoulder. 

He raped her? What the ...

"If he sends that picture to everyone at school, they'll think it's what I wanted and it's not. I don't want my mom and dad to find out. They already have enough problems with their divorce. I don't want anybody to find. They'll blame me."

"Amara?" the words she's said circle my head.  Tony raped her.

She clutches the front of my shirt and I sit there, rocking with her in my arms back and forth, back and forth. 

I let my fingers comb through the tangles of her hair, afraid of what she's telling me. She should tell somebody else besides me. How could she make me promise not to tell that this happened to her?

"I have to stop this from ruining everything. I don't want to live anymore. I'm going — I want to—" As she trails off I know what she's trying to say and my heart pounds into my chest.