Late Night Thoughts

Day I

Alright idk if it's just me but for some reasons my body randomly bleeds. Like out of nowhere it will decide to bleed as if it's fun or some shit.
The following is how I think it goes.

Heart- Hey Brain what if we just cut some blood lose. We have a lot of cuts here and there just make her hand bleed please.
Brain-why on earth would you want that?

Heart- it's less work for me I think.
Brain-it could be dangerous why would you think of that?
Heart- just please just this once.
Brain- *smirk* alright I'll make it happen you get back to work.
And then my hand would fucking bleed for no reason but it's not just my hand. There's a mark across my face that makes me look like a joker that will pop up under your bed with a red balloon. That bleeds, sometimes my teeth too and my ear. What I don't get is why does my ear bleed? I would like just touch it and it's bleeding. JUST LIKE THAT? Can I please get an explanation.... Actually I don't want an explanation cuz I will ignore anyway and it's a great waste of your and my time. Not like I have anything to do but I think you do. I hope...  I feel like you might not be reading this shit you might be doing something or maybe you wanted a break... Is this a good break? I hope you enjoy I guess.

Another problem I have is I don't ever know what to say. Like if someone is crying I feel like I should say something but what should I say? I'll give an example..
Okay someone I know has a break up. I think I should comfort them so I go to them try to make out a conversation but they are crying and it's hard to understand what they are babbling. And you know by now I have read, seen, and heard way too many break up shit that I no longer have sympathy for them. Like okay? One person left your life and you were close to them, so what? I don't see the world ending well... The world is a little hopeless but not to the point where it will end this instance and I bet the person that left you isn't the reason okay? So shut the f*ck up and move on cuz neither you nor them are that important to the world. The world doesn't revolve around either one of you. Okay  so stop crying....So now I just say "don't cry please I don't know what to say to people when they start crying"
It doesn't help tho but I have no limits. I guess it's not that easy but I have never been in a relationship. And this is exactly why I haven't cuz I know people in life come and go. See I'm smart and you're dumb. No you're not actually I'm  dumber. We could be dumb and dumber. Yea I would like that and being dumb is actually fun mate just gimme one day and I'll prove it. Anyway, I heard that the smarter you get the sadder you get. And it makes sense because you start to understand things and the world isn't the happiest place. And the more you know the worse it gets so really, trust me, it's okay to be dumb and enjoy life. But not in a way where you end up begging on the streets no not like that. In a more comfortable way, and take you financial problems seriously. Or maybe when we move out of our parents' house we could beg together? I think doing things with people is better you know you can add a little comedy and feels nice and there's someone by side your side. And that way when you fail maths you can tell your mom "AleX failed too" and we can get beat up together. Yea.
That changed from comedy I don't know what that became but it wasn't funny.
Okay now I don't have any talents for real. I do my friends creative writing work and they pass. I lie very well. And I can get people to listen to me. I can ruin the most perfect situation. But people say I am good at talking? Like okay.... I don't why they say that. Cuz every time I look at old chats I throw up in the airport trash can. I think I'm not good at it considering that I can't follow a script and I'm always trying to say something good or funny but it ends up with cursing....not me cursing. Instead the cursing at me.
So I don't know what people mean when they say I'm good at it. Could be sarcasm maybe or is it actually serious shit becuz if it is then you should get to know me on a better level.
Irrelevant but what do you guys say when a friend says "I love you" when you are being nice. I mean I say it back and feels weirdly warm in my heart but you know what's weird. It's been happening a lot now. Like I keep doing favors cuz I don't have anything to do and they say ILY and shit. I feel nice that I got them to smile and made em feel a little relaxed and stuff but I don't know, something feels a little weird. Like I am happy you are happy but can we reduce the use of ILY back to once in two years? Cuz the reason I did your work and was doing sasti (cheap in urdu) comedy was cuz 1. I am f*cking bored 2. It's nice to see people smile.
And yk those people who just have super pretty smiles. Like people with gummy smile or a boxy smile. Or asians. You see asians see less and less the happier they get and it's cute. Okay this is getting cringy back to whatever I was trying earlier.
Okay do we all have that one stupid af friend. That one that NEEDS you to follow them everywhere they go so they don't screw up. And when you don't follow them they screw up so bad that the only way there is to kill them. Yea I gave that advice but the waitress stopped by and said "please don't die here we'll have to get rid of the bodies and will ruin the reputation of the café" like mate. THAT DOESN'T HELP? So you just have to help em out. Now I have a list of these incidents and I have so many friends that do this shit. But something else that sucks is, every time there is an argument my name is always there. Now these arguments happen more than you think and I am always stuck. And when I ask "what happened" they go "It was your best friend's fault" like hold up! Which one? Understand I make so many friends by accident and we end up being bfs after getting in trouble. So when you say "bf" you have no idea who little that narrows down. For real, mate  just tell me yourself cuz when my "bf" will explain you will interupt anyway cuz you think they are explaining wrong. AND TALK ONE AT A TIME YOU UN MANNERED STUPID ASS DUMMY. My understanding matters you know? So talk in English and English only. And use words that are not harsh and bark one by one. Alright mate? But oh no no no no there is no way that will happen and since you can't tape people against their will, as it is a crime I have to put them in different rooms or chats to understand. But it's very hard to do that I really don't know why. Like don't you not wanna see each other now? You literally said "I never wanna see you again" and then refuse to be in a different compartment. Wow you really know what you are saying don't you, you dramatic dumbass.

Have a great day