Mediocre Life Lessons & Poetry

Shame is a good thing

Yes, that title may seem quite a strong statement, but before you think I'm some "bad person," let me explain. I grew up thinking from a young age that shame is always wrong and is never good. Many people have this train of thought when confronted with the all-powerful word of "shame." I, for one, was guilty of this thinking, but that all changed when I entered high school. In middle school, I think everyone can relate that they were cringe-worthy. If you feel you weren't, there are two types of people in this world: cringe people and liars. Getting back to the point, though, going into high school, I wanted to be socially accepted, not cool, but just people to look at me and be like, "yeah, he's chill." Now, this is where shame comes in. I think many guys can relate to this; a lot of the shame and embarrassment in their lives comes from girls. Let me tell you; there's nothing more that promotes change as fast as a girl judging or making you feel embarrassed. In my personal experience, this shame encouraged me to get into better shape. Without that shame, I know without a doubt that I thought I would not be as in good shape as I am now. Sure one can think, "that's just toxic," but the bottom line is that it's up to the individual and how they take the shame. Some people can take it as motivation others can let it be something negative. Shame has also promoted situational awareness in me more. The bottom line is that knowing your situation and acting accordingly is all we have to do. A person can try to justify it by saying, "I'm just being myself." Still, the world's reality is that we all have to learn to be ourselves and adapt our personalities to different situations. It's like going to a funeral and saying a "your mom" joke; sure, that can be being yourself, but without situational awareness promoted by shame, you are not going to be accepted as much as you most likely want to be. Don't get me wrong, though; I am not saying all shame is good. Some people like to judge people and shame someone, to be cruel, but it is undeniable that shame promotes change, and change can be a good or a bad thing. It's up to the individual to decide if the disgrace that is given to them is justified or not. The main moral or punchline here is that shame keeps people in line and promotes change, something all individuals on this planet have to accept to be a better version for themselves and the people around them. Thank you for listening to my unhinged rambling.