What lies underneath

Part 3

The very next day we had a meeting with Simon...and ofc the new security guard was there.
"Sit down everyone"
We all sit, including the security guard who just so happens to sit next to me.
"Wanna switch seats Harry?" Louis says on the other side of the couch
"Uhm yeah sure"
"No stay where you are" Simon says Almost seeming to know what happened
The whole time the security guard who we found out is named Alex kept finding excuses to touch me. He had his hand resting on my thigh and the boys could tell I was uncomfortable.
"I'll do it again if you don't pretend to date me" he whispered in my ear
"O-okay then I'll pretend" I whisper back
"Lean into my side" he whispers
I do it pretending to be comfy but really not being
Louis seemed pissed off about something but I felt violated and disgusted with myself too much to care.
I don't understand why this all has to happen to me. I honestly don't mean to be dramatic but I want to die. Simon spoke for so long and I was so uncomfortable the whole time. Louis and the boys questioned me so much after and I just ignored them.
~two months later~
Would it be totally messed up to have actually fallen for Alex? I wanted to cry...but I was also overjoyed.
"Harry!" I hear louis call from downstairs
All the boys and Eleanor were here when I got downstairs.
"Hi guys"
"Hey"
I get a call from Alex...smiling at it for a second I answer it. But quickly regret it.
"HARRY WHAT THE HELL?!"
"What???"
"I haven't seen you in months then you go hang out with all the boys and Eleanor without even inviting me...why are you such a bitch to me?!"
"I'm sorry...I didn't invite them louis did...I didn't even know until a few moments ago"
"Okay well I'm coming over right now asshole"
"Okay...see you soon"
Just like that the call ended. Now I wanted to cry. I wanted to sob.
"Excuse me for a moment"
"Is everything okay?"
"Yeah I'll be back"
I go up to my room and immediately close the door starting to sob. I couldn't breathe. I hadn't eaten in 3 days in a row and I felt light headed and tired. I wanted him to want me. He never could like someone that's fat though. And I am which throws me out of qualification.
"HARRY ALEX IS HERE" Liam calls from downstairs
I remain silence knowing my voice would be shaky if I spoke. I hear footsteps coming towards my room.
"Harry?" I hear Alex say
I'm so embarrassed, he's trying to see me and I'm sobbing on my floor, in an unbearable amount of mental and physical pain.
"Harry!" Alex walks into my room seeing me on the floor with concern
"What happened?"
"I'm sorry..."
"For what"
"Everything"
"Harry...please get off the floor and just talk to me...you're gonna get a back ache"
"Okay"
We sit on the bed and he holds me as I sob for a bit.
"Wanna tell me what's wrong yet?"
"I can't..."
"Why not?"
"Cus you're gonna hate me"
"I could never hate you"
"Alex...I like you...I know it's so messed up and that you don't feel the same and that I should just drop the whole thing and never-"
"Harry you're rambling...and I like you too...why else would we be in a fake relationship?"
"Really?"
"Yes really"
"HARRY, ALEX" we're called down stairs
"Pizza is here" they say as we get down from the last step.
My face drops, my head spirals, and I'm terrified.
"Aren't you gonna eat anything?"
"No I'm not hungry"
"You have to eat something" Alex says
"No I don't"
"Please"
"No"
All the boys continue to try to convince me for a good ten minutes until...
"I SAID NO OH MY FUCKING GOD CAN YOU NOT" I yell before running upstairs
"That was weird right?" Louos questioned
"Yeah it was"
"What do you think Alex you'd know best"
"I'm not allowed to say anything about it"
"Why not?"
"Cus I promised him I wouldn't"
"Okay that weird..."