the secret life of billie eilish -b.e

9.

July 14, 2019.
no Billie and Sarana this chapter :)

ARTIST BILLIE EILISH WAS SPOTTED WITH TOP MODEL VIOLET EMLÍA AT THE MOVIES TWO DAYS AGO. DID THE LESBIAN STEAL THE SINGER'S HEART?

"What the fuck is this article.." I said as I read the link Violet sent me.

There were pictures of us holding hands and driving and doing all types of things together everywhere and not only I was upset I couldn't have any privacy...

I didn't like how they brought both of our sexuality into the matter.

Who gives a shit that someone who openly likes women is hanging out with someone who obviously has said in the past they only date men.

Even I'm sure I want Violet more than I could want anyone else it's no one's business what we do.

I told Violet to come over not really knowing how she felt at the moment but I wanted to see her. I could've gone over to hers but I wanted her here.
-

"This isn't the first time the internet has accused me of dating someone I was close to so I don't really care or mind." Violet shrugged as she laid on my bed playing with my freshly dyed hair.

"What if it was true though?" I asked.

"What if what was true, that we were actually together?"

"Yeah."

"Then it would be true..I don't see what you're getting at." She said.

"Violet I like you can't you tell?"

She sighed and stopped her movements making me turn around to face her.

"I know you do, I feel the same but it's too soon we haven't even known each other for that long plus you've never been with a woman Billie," Violet said stroking my face.

"It's never too soon to get with someone, I feel like you are just afraid to get with me. I can change your life Violet and I'm willing to change mine for you." I said gripping onto her legs and leaning in.

I was afraid she would pull away saying how this was wrong and how she shouldn't do this but she didn't.

Instead, she pulled me closer holding me firmly under her touch.

"You don't know how long I wanted to do that." She said as our lips slipped away from each other.

She pulled in to connect our lips again but I pushed her body away from me. lightly.

"But I'm not ready to come out just yet. I don't know if I ever will be." As I said that I could tell she felt uneasy about that.

"We can make it work, we'll take it slow if that's what you want," Violet said trying to make me feel better about the situation.

Like she always has. It was always her comforting me.
-
Oct 18, 2019

"My name is Billie Eilish."

Vanity Fair; Same Interview, The third year.

I've been doing this interview since I was about 15, it was nothing new yet I was so nervous about what I would've been asked.

Violet was here with me.

We finally started officially dating two weeks after that whole session we had in my room but nobody except my family and close friends knew about it.

I was so secretive about this relationship with her that I even brought a secret house..just to be able to not be seen frequently with her.

I answered almost most of the questions as time went by but that one specific question of course decided to creep up on me.

Do you have a boyfriend?

I watched the video played out of me in 2018 completely lying my ass off about not being in a relationship and laughed it off.

"I don't have a boyfriend!" I said laughing before looking to my side seeing Violet have her arm crossed and watching me carefully.

"I actually did then, but I don't now..I still am on good terms with everybody and I still have much love for like the person I was with then, but I am single." I said with a sight pause once again looking at Violet and I could tell she wasn't happy but did she not expect me to lie?

I also said some more shit that I knew would piss her off but I just wanted the general public to believe I wasn't looking to be with anyone so they wouldn't point fingers at me and her anytime soon.
-

"See I was gonna let the boyfriend question slip but you really had to sit up there and say for the first time in your life you don't have your eyes on anyone? Am I a joke to you Billie?" Violet said practically screaming her head off.

"I didn't think it would be a big deal? I'm doing this for us, I don't wanna get caught up." I replied shrugging not trying to see her side of the situation.

"Not a big deal? My girlfriend who's been trying to keep me a secret for weeks just told the whole world she doesn't have time or is looking for anyone when she's in a whole fucking relationship! You aren't doing this shit for me, you're just scared to tell the world about the true you and how you are a lesbian!" Violet spat in my face.

"I'm not a fucking lesbian don't put your label onto me. Why can't you respect I'm not ready to be out?"

"I did fucking respect it until you decided it would be a good fucking idea to get up on an interview and disrespect me."

"I'm not doing this right now I don't understand why you can't see where I'm coming from and how I have so much to lose." I huffed as I sat down on one of my couches.

"So what are you gonna do huh? Hideaway from who you really are for the rest of your life?" She laughed bitterly. "You are so pathetic, Billie." She said storming out.

I had no energy to run after her. After all, she would come back. I know she would.

unedited