Shadow Beings

36. Zeal Cede

The wind whizzed against my face as I ran through the vibrant nature as it still sang, the incredulous aura dissipating against my confusion. I saw a few shadows rattled by my rough pace but I climbed up the stairs, into the confines of the grey walls till I reached Jay's room.

My fist hit the hard, wooden door thrice. I took in deep breaths, both to calm myself and to breathe freely after the sprint. The sound of footsteps came before the door opened quickly. Jay's grey eyes were filled with worry as he took a step back in to let me come inside, closing the door behind me quietly.

"What's wrong, Audrey? Have a seat, you're completely out of breath," Jay said in his alleviating tone. I stared at him for a long moment before bursting into sarcastic fits of laughter. His expression remained unchanged, though I did feel that concern deepen a bit.

"What's wrong? Lies, does that word stir something? Or perhaps secrets?"

His frown persisted, and he brought his hand beneath, thinking. "Audrey, what are you-"

He stopped and deeply looked into my eyes, understanding my emotions as he tried to hide that moment of realisation. I returned the gaze and he smiled sheepishly, though his confidence never wavered.

"Audrey, let me explain, please."

"Explain?" I asked, baffled. "Too late for that, sir. That's what you failed to do."

"Please, Audrey. Just, listen to me. Sit down."

His eyes sparkled with guilt and he briefly looked down to the floor, but his stance never wavered. He's our leader, and he always did whatever was the best for us. I had only seen it countless times, and I was sure that I was going to see it again.

But what I saw... if that's true, then that means my mother kept secrets too. Of course she did, she never told me she was even an Angel, when that was true.

"Do not make haste, little raven. Some truths take their own time. You will understand, I'm sure of it."

That soft tone, it was as if nothing else wondered whenever she spoke. A little revelation of doubt was not stronger than my trust in my mother.

I sighed and looked through the window as nature continued. Unsettled shadows, children recognising the ominous aura, an infinite blanket of quiet sorrow, pulsating up and down, always lingering... and so did nature. Lingering, existing, there with existence.

The world went on. All we could do was try together.

"Go ahead, Jay. I trust you."

- - - - -

All I could do was stare at the floor. Jay didn't tell me anything because he couldn't do so; the day of that fire, something took those memories from him. He only regained the knowledge a few months ago.

Everything still confused me, my annoyance being the biggest one to do so. I couldn't begin to imagine the chaos that would've surrounded my leader; losing a part of his mind along with shadows he cared about, then suddenly having all this information dumped on him, questioning his identity. He didn't need me to add onto his worries.

I didn't even know how to apologise to him.

"Audrey," the voice slithered in slightly, like water cooling my heated mind. I looked up at him, my expression weak. "It is alright, okay? You blame yourself too easily and I know you'll feel responsible now that you've been entrusted with this, too, but know that you are not alone.

"I am sorry. You have suffered enough. You are suffering enough, especially since Vlad's growing power burdens your mind every day. In more ways than one."