Vent book.

W0W...

W3LC0M3 B4CK.

TH12 W1LL B3 4 V3NT.

C0NT1NU3 4T Y0UR3 0WN R1SK.
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It's hard losing someone you love, but people come into your life for one special reason, and when that reason is fulfilled, they're gone..

It's not fair. But then again neither is life..there's no winning or losing..you're just there..

It's sad to know that the person who collects your tears is the one who makes most of them..

It's crappy to know that even if you think about one person every single FUCKING day..you'll still forget they exist eventually..

It's not fair. It's not fair. ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR!

I've come so far from not having bloody wrists and not having those thoughts. But they just fill my brain and i can't think of a way to get rid of them without a form of silence.

I've been questioning my life existence all damn night. It's 4:35 in the damn AM and i can't sleep.

Voices are loud. Thoughts are inisacpible.

And here you are..my love..my pride and joy..my favorite person on the planet..in the whole fuckin universe..and i can't seem to reach you..

There's people out there that make you feel ranges of emotions. Some good, some bad, some in-between. But when you can't find the good from the bad it doesn't help.

Do you understand how hard it is?

You do, i know you do. You've delt with this shit in your own personal viewing. Everyone has. Everyone will.
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When you want to be a people pleaser, you go out of your way to do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING for the person. Would you even kill for that said person?
I know i would. I would sit in a fuckin moldy ass jail cell with a cellmate that would potentially hurt/rape me. I would sit in my sentence, because i knew it make them happy that that person no longer existed.

But what if the person was you.... Would you kill yourself to make another person happy? Or is that where you draw the line a people pleasing?

In all reality it comes down to the person.
That's what you'd say right?

Is your life so filled with shit because you identify as a people pleaser? That's why I gave up on the people pleasing. I almost did KMS because someone told me it make them happy. And i thought that person loved me. I thought they'd always be there for me, rain or shine, snow or ablaze, but no. They told me that i was living my life wrong and i was making them unhappy and i should die.

I'm here today because i made a promice to myself.

I promised I'd outlive all of those shitty people. I have my boyfriend and his parents. I have my friends and their parents. I have my siblings and my parents. I have my dad's parents. I don't need some stupid bitch telling me how to live my life.

'Cause bitch you jus' don't like me and i don't give a fuck. Piss off whore.
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TH4NK Y0U F0R R34D1NG TH1S..