A Court of Flame and Reckoning

Thirty-Seven

—
Anya
—

After my fifth attempt at braiding my hair, I give up. My hands are shaking and my skin has a fine sheen of sweat to it as I try to catch my breath and ward off the panic rising in my chest.

All I can feel is Kari's silky black hair around my fingers. All I can hear is her light, off-key, humming as she sits on the mat. All I can see is blood—so much blood blooming from a hole in her chest. The blood stains the white fabric of her nightgown as the blade is retracted. Her fearful eyes search mine for a solution to this completely fucked scenario. She knows—I know she knows who betrayed her.

I aggressively wipe the tears away from my cheeks with the back of my shaking hands, then I grip the porcelain sink until the cool tile-like stone seeps under the fiery warmth of my skin. My head hangs limply between my shoulder blades as I force the memory deep down until I can't see the exact hue of her hair anymore. I can't see the way her face lit up when she smiled. I can't see the way she fell to the stone floor of the arena—no life to those curious eyes.

Breathing out one long breath, I force my head up to stare at myself in the mirror, but I refuse to actually look at myself. Instead, my mind feels numb as I pull my hair up into a simple ponytail, then secure it with a hair tie.

Already dressed in casual human clothes, I grab my bag filled with weapons and Illyrian fighting leathers and exit the apartment. Since Nyx didn't return this morning, I assume he'll meet me at his parents' house, considering we planned to meet with them before we left.

I'm a little upset that Nyx didn't stay here last night, but I also can't really blame him. I know he must see me as more than a friend—especially after what happened on Starfall and weeks ago in the dining room...and what happened just before he told me that we're mates. But could Nyx really like me that much if he was hurt that I walked away from him like that? Or maybe he just needed space like I did to figure this all out. I wish I knew.

I suppose I will soon, because there's no way I'm spending a week with him in the Continent and not bringing up the conversation I desperately need to have with him.

Tucking a small throwing knife in a hidden sheath under my light cloak, I round the corner and approach Rhys and Feyre's estate.

For a moment, I stop to admire the sprawling land of green and perfectly trimmed grass. There's a large garden out back, which I have learned is Elain's pride and joy. Some day I'll have to join her while she works. My mother and sister loved to garden, so in a way I guess I just want to feel closer to them somehow.

The house itself is a work of art. Pale white stone pillars line the front deck where a massive ornate door stands. There are tiny golden details throughout, making the light brown wood of the door shine under the morning sun. Everything about this large house reminds me of the house my old best friend lives in with her family. Yet, it doesn't give off the cold superiority that most wealthy homes do. With blooming ivy climbing the walls at the pillars, it makes this house feel warm and inviting.

So, with that unspoken invitation, I walk up to the large doors and knock twice.

A moment later, Nuala opens the door with a warm smile. "They're in High Lord Rhys's office. He said to send you right up."

"Thank you." I return her smile and enter the foyer—admiring the artwork on the walls for only a moment before Nuala speaks again.

"Would you like some breakfast before you leave?"

I shake my head, looking over to the wraith dressed beautifully in a black crop top and matching flowing pants. "No thank you. I already ate."

She nods, then leaves as I ascend the stairs and walk down the hallway to Rhys's office. Once there, I calm my nerves that have wracked my body at the thought of Nyx being on the other side of this door. Then, I knock.