STRANIERA

Part 2

My eyes snap wide open, and I take a deep breath through my nose. I shake my head and let my eyes close, then yawn. The room is cold; I fell asleep on top of my comforter. I open and close my hands to feel my icy fingertips. By repeatedly opening and closing my eyes, I try to prevent my vision from blurring as I look at the time clock on the nightstand. I need to be at school in two hours. Yawning again, I remember that I must break the news to everyone today, and I mean everyone. I get up and head to the shower, braiding my dark black hair into two braids. My hair is naturally black; it doesn't look like the bottle color dye you buy at the pharmacy. It looks healthy. Danny's hair was the same; we were identical twins, the only difference between us being that I had very light skin, pale-ish, while Danny had a darker skin tone (I was jealous about that). I dress in Mom jeans and a grey hoodie with the phrase "Harvard" in red engraved on it. I grab my glasses and put them on. My glasses' frame is an invisible-colored frame that is trending in the fashion industry right now. I kind of like it because it makes my green eyes pop.

I walk to the kitchen to get some coffee, preparing myself for the conversations of the day. "I found it on the floor," she points to the counter. On the counter stands the red handbag. "Oh, thanks, Mom." I give her a kiss on the cheek and grab a cup from the cupboard to make coffee. "I've already made some for you," she points at the cup behind the handbag. I smile; she knows me so well, and what I'm about to do is going to break her heart. My mom was fifty-three but looked sixty. Her hair was dove grey, her skin pale (paler than mine, to be honest). Her eyes had dark, black bags under them because she was always tired. The only visible color on her was her dark, red lips.

"Once again, thanks, Mom. How was your shift?" I take the coffee and go sit on the orange couch. We have an open-plan house. "It was not rough; nobody died, if I can be brutally honest." She walked past me and sat down on the couch on my right side. Mom dealt poorly with death, but Dad dealt with it way worse. If she could not have saved someone's life, she came home and locked herself in her closet for three days straight. She would cancel all her shifts and go back after three days had passed.

"Mom, I must talk to you about something. Before I explain, keep in mind that I've already decided, and I am not backing out." With that being said, I felt a lump in my throat and butterflies in my stomach. She stared blankly at me with those glassy eyes of hers, fragile, about to break with tears welling up. "Are you moving out, dear?" "You can put it like that," I said somewhat sarcastically. Her blank stare didn't waver. Time to rip the bandage off, and fast. "Mom, I'm moving to another city in Asia."

She started laughing. "With what money, what job?" I swallowed. Breathe. "A school on a farm contacted me and offered me a job as a Math teacher. My plane ticket will be provide for out of their school fund." "When are you leaving? A year from now or in 6 months?" she asked in a straightforward tone.

"They need me as soon as possible. I need to leave this Friday. I'm just waiting for confirmation from the school." Tick, tick, tick...and that's when the grenade inside her went off -boom. She stood up and started screaming at me, "THAT IS TOMORROW. HOW DID YOU PLAN THIS? HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN?" "Mom, I received the offer yesterday. I didn't plan this; this is more like a leap of faith." I answered as calmly as possible. "A LEAP OF FAITH. YOUR LEAP OF FAITH IS BY LEAVING ME JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.NOR IS THIS EVEN PRACTICAL" My eyes filled up with tears that weren't backing down. "Danny didn't leave, Mom. He didn't have a choice. Dad left; Dad had a choice between family and drugs, and he chose drugs!" With that being said, I wiped a tear from my face. "Mom, please understand." I responded plea. "UNDERSTAND WHAT, VALIDA?" Now my grenade went off; I stood up and started exploding, "From this ghost town, Mom. Daniel's dead, and Dad isn't coming out of rehab. Oh wait, he comes out, walks past Daniel's room, and the moment he steps inside his room, he gets back on drugs, again. As soon as you ask him why, he says he sees Daniel when he's on it. Then he promises to get better, but he never does. Why Mom haven't divorced him doesn't make sense because Mom threw stones over every inch of the flower that he planted." Mom hit her back on the wall ,the opposite side of the couch next to the LG TV, slid down on her knees, and started to sob, "I couldn't save him, I couldn't save Daniel. I'm a nurse, and I couldn't save my own son. Your father wasn't always like this; he saved me from depression when we had our first miscarriage. I just need to save him like he saved me." It breaks every single cell in my body to see her like this. I bent down on my knees and spoke softly, "Mommy, Daniel is everywhere, but he is nowhere. The ghost of him is in this house and at my work. I keep searching for the ghost of him in this town, trying to stay as close to him as possible. I didn't want to work at High School Willow's, but he went to school there. He was the head boy and captain of the football team. I didn't want to lose him, but truth be told, I lost him the day he died. I lost the other part of me that day, a part of me that I will never get back. I need to let go and start fresh because this house, my work, this town hurts my soul every day more and more. I don't have the money to go and start over in a city close by and that is why I'm taking this opportunity." She didn't respond, so I kissed her on her forehead, grabbed the red handbag and keys on the counter, heading to the door. I stopped before the door, turned my face toward her where she still sat on the floor, looking blankly at it. "Mommy, I haven't felt like me in a very long time...I need to pack tonight; would Mom please take me to the airport tomorrow morning?"

She didn't respond, so I just turned the doorknob, walked to my Kia, and drove to school.