Alone Together (The Strokes Fanfiction)

Numb Persepectives

Frantic furious, I snatched my clothes from the floor and proceeded to get dressed as energetically as I could, as if the brusque movements of pulling up my pants or aggressively slipping in my tank shirt would drain my rage and pain away. They did achieve the highlighting of both for certain.

Julian didn't move an inch while I infuriately performed. He just stared at me like an idiot, as he usually tended to do upon any overwhelming circumstance... and I thought I knew why; he had just said some the most fragile words a human being can pronounce, and I wasn't giving him an answer. And it was going to remain that way.

"Goodbye Julian" I said coldly, then grabbed my purse and paced towards the door.

"Cobie don't do this" he stood between me and the door "you've got to listen to me"

"Julian I want to leave, please step aside"

I spoke dead clod, and I didn't even look at him in the face.

"Did you even listen to what I just said?" he replied

"Julian I want to go home, please let me out"

"Did you even understand those fucking words? I love you, I motherfucking love you"

"No you don't" I said bluntly, dry, sharp.

He looked hurt, but laughed ironically anyway. "You are telling me I'm not aware of my own feelings?"

"Exactly"

"You don't live inside my fucking head, you know?"

"Julian, you are playing with two women, how can you possibly love me? We basically just met, how on earth can you call it love?"

"You don't understand"

"No, clearly I don't"

"Well then let me fucking explain!"

"And what if I don't want an explanation!?"

            I did yell, and loud. At that point probably all the neighbors knew Julian Casablancas was involved in an argument with a girl. If there was something I couldn't cope with was liars. I didn't want a mediocre excuse for whatever that message meant, and I didn't want more rage or disappointment from his behalf. It was enough. It was great as it lasted, but I didn't want to see that guy again... too much for three days, perhaps.

"Let me out" I said.

"Cobie, please I-"

"I am not in the mood for listening to whatever the fuck you've got to say, alright? You are a player, I have been aware of this since I got to know you better at the bar, but for a mind-numbingly stupid reason I decided to trust you"

I felt hurt, and used, and fooled. I was really interested in Julian. I liked him a lot. He was the Exception. After so much time of singleness making my mind that guys were all the same, I saw something in him, some tiny aspect of his soul that charmed me right away. I trusted him. And he blew that away. The first time in a long time I had allowed myself to go for it and be with someone, ruined. A scar of betray was traced in my soul, but as much as I wanted to deny it, Julian still had this trust charm on me. For whatever mystical essence this dude casted upon my mind, there was a tiny part of my heart playing on repeat the belief that Jules could be much better than that. Why would he go out with someone like me when he already had Megara? She was so pretty it actually ached and her physique had been carved by the muses of seduction. For a guy as Julian, a woman like that was a life goal. But still, something was itching at the back of my head, a probability I didn't know about yet. Perhaps an empty hope or just placebo-like faith was what it was. Technically I was being unreasonable, not letting him at least explain himself, when I had this feeling that there might be another side to the problem; but I felt too much pain to clear my mind at the time. I was just so pissed. I just wanted him to feel as bad as I was feeling, or perhaps even worse.