See You Later ~ Elizabeth Olsen

18 ~ Fall

Y/N POV

Honestly, midterm week was horrible. The tests were annoying and my paper was probably shit. Lizzie and I have been spending all our time studying apart mostly but I went over a few times so we could study together.

But! We got through it and it is now Friday. I'm ready to work on some music. I've been working on this song. I haven't shown Lizzie yet because it's very um...revealing? I've gone back and forth about if I'm going to tell her how I'm feeling.

The truth is, no matter how much I try to convince myself I am okay with where we are at right now, I'm hurting.

I want her. I don't want to be that friend she gets to fool around with. This entire week when we've seen each other we would study for like an hour then she'd be all over me. We would barely talk and that's weird for us. We usually talk all the time and kissing is like a bonus. But now it feels like I'm only there for her to fool around with.

A part of me hopes that this change in behavior is her realizing what she really wants and that's why I'm thinking about playing this song for her.

Maybe if she knows about my feelings, she will think more about her own feelings and less about kissing me before I even get to say hi.

It could also be a response to stress. It's a nice stress reliever from the constant anxiety around test scores. I get it, I do and I love kissing her...but I really want more.

I also feel horrible about keeping it from her. I'm keeping my feelings and my music from her because I'm afraid she doesn't feel the same. But it's better to be honest and be let down then be strung along in something that will eat me alive.

Am I prepared to get my heart broken? No. But do I know it's a possibility? Yes. So...I'm at a crossroads. I guess I'll figure out what to do sometime soon.

I look up when people start exiting her studio and smile when she runs down to steps to launch herself into a hug. I catch her easily and twirl her around once before setting her down.

"I got an A!" She squeals and bounces in her spot.

"Of course you did! I told you you had it." I remind her and she nods, a wide smile on her face.

"Come on, I wanna listen to you play." She prompts, grabbing my hand and practically dragging me to campus.

I've made friends with the worker that gives me the key every Friday at this point and she always has it ready for us before we even arrive. It's very convenient.

Lizzie sits at the piano bench and starts playing a few chords I taught her to play, the chords for Tenerife Sea. "Is it finished yet?" She asks and I sigh.

"Um...yes. I finished it. I also have another song I want to show you actually." I mention. I guess I'm taking the leap. It's better to do it sooner rather than later. She promised we would always be friends, so even if she doesn't feel the same, she will still be in my life.

Fuck I'm fucking scared.

"Really? I'm excited now. Play it!" She squeals and smiles softly when I sit next to her.

I take a few deep breaths as I set my fingers down on the keys softly. I bite my lip as I hesitate and look over to her when she lays her head on my shoulder. "Don't be nervous...I'll love it." She assures me. The word makes my heart flip and gives me the courage to start playing.

I chose to play Fall first...she doesn't know it's about her. I could test the waters and see what she thinks first. Yeah, I'm smart.

You and I, Two of a mind
This love's, One of a kind
You and I, We're drifting
Over the edge