Big Secret

013 | Panic Attack

Mom, Dad and I headed to the school, I wanted to nothing but hide away, to not have to go and look around but I knew how important this was.  The whole car ride was spent with me being quite and not saying a word while Mom and dad spoke. I wasn't exactly sure what they were talking about as I seemed to zone out. I was tired which didn't help the fact that I wasn't exactly focusing on my parents speaking. Before I knew it, I had realised Dad had parked the car in the parking lot of the school, I had a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach as I just looked out of the window not even removing my seatbelt.

"Take it in your own time Ami. We won't rush you" Mom said softly to me but I didn't say anything back, instead I unclipped my seatbelt but continued to stay sitting in the car. Was this really the right time for me to start school, it had to be.

"I'm ready" I said taking a deep breath after opening the door to the car. I climbed out of the car and shut the door behind me

"We're by your side through the whole thing. You aren't alone Ami' I promice" dad said softly putting an arm around my shoulders, it comforted me.

"Thank you" I practically whispered.

"You don't have to thank us Ami' we're your parents, we love you" Mom said from Dads other side where she was holding his hand.

"Can we get a milkshake before we go to intelligence?" I asked while I walked beside mom and dad up the path which lead us to the school

"Of course we can." Dad answered with mom agreeing with him, at least that was something to look forward for, a chocolate milkshake, I could see it as a reward for looking around a school, for being brave.

"Good morning we've got an meeting with Mr Calvin" dad said once we entered the reception to see a woman sat behind the desk.

"Names? I need to sign you in" the woman said moodily, I took a step back from dads side and kind of hid myself behind him

"Jay Halstead, Romana Clark and Amilie Halstead" dad said aa be indicted to Mom and i.

"And what's the appointment about?" The woman then asked.

"Enrolling our Daughter, Mr. Calvin is expecting us" Mom said before dad even had a chance to say anything else.

"Take a seat and Mr. Calvin will be with you in just a moment" the receptionist said. I quickly got away from the receptionist and sat down beside the door.

"Ami' are you okay?" Both mom and dad said simultaneously.

"I'm fine" I said nodding slowly, I knew they would worry if I said I wasn't so I did what I had to do and lie to them, I hated lying to them after everything they had done but I couldn't tell them I was having doubts about being here, about looking around the school.

"Hello, I'm The principal Mr Calvin, you must be Jay, Romana and Amilie" a man who was obviously older than Mom and dad asked, I could tell he was older as he had a lot of grey hairs but he also reminded me of someone back in France, who my biological mother brought home alot, I don't know why he reminded me of that man but it seemed to freak me out, I didn't want to let mom or dad down though.

"That's us. This is Amilie" dad said softly introducing me, my eyes immediately are drawn to the floor, I was once again unable to find my voice, I wasn't sure what it was that was making it so hard for me to find my voice.

"Hello Amilie" Mr Calvin said to me as I grabbed Moms hand as she was sat beside me.

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Mom, Dad and I were heading to Mr Calvin's office to discuss the enrolment, As we walked around the school I began to feel my heart begin to race, fear seemed to build up in my stomach, it was probably not fear but something was making me feel sick, it could be a overwhelmed feeling but whatever it was I didn't like it.