Black And Grey

22. Jess✨

My phone hit the floor straight up.
Amanda was panicking over the phone. I know I have to get home
I remove my apron as tears well up in my eyes. I call Kate to take over. Kate understands and tells me she'll explain to Mrs Lambert.

I somehow got held up in some traffic.

It takes me longer than it normally should to get home.

I park the car,and I run into Amanda's house.

I run up the stairs and into mom's room.

There's a doctor standing in front of mom and that blocks me from getting a view of her.

Amanda looks red,like really red. Her eyes are red also and she holds my shoulder.

"She's fine" she whispers to me and smiles weakly.

She hugs me so tight and I sniffle into her soft t-shirt.

"Thank you" I say to her and she nods.

She's fine, she's fine. I assure myself

The doctor leaves and I thank him.

When I'm about to pay him,Amanda says he's their family doctor so the payment will be added to his salary.

Later in the evening,I sit in mom's room.

I wish I didn't have to leave,but sadly,I have to.

I have to get some money so we can get our apartment.

I feel like a burden everytime I wake up.

You have no idea.

I just want mom to be safe. I'm scared that one day I won't be around, something might happen.

I'm scared for a future without her.

Amanda's face alone was scary.

It's like she put herself in my shoes. I felt bad for making them constantly go through this.

But,come to think of it, there's a reason for everything.

There's a reason for being sent out of our previous home. 

Because if something like this had happened and I wasn't home,who knows what would have happened.

By that time of the day,I would have obviously been at work and I don't even wanna imagine what would have happened.

She turns on her side as she continues to sleep peacefully.

I think the light is disturbing her sleep.

So,I peck her cheek and I turn off the light.

I then return back to Amanda's room.

Amanda is on a video call with Nicky.

She looks happy, she's smiling so hard and that makes me smile too.

I whisper to her that I'm going to bed,she nods and blows me a kiss.

I lay in my bed,but no sleep seems to come.

Amanda also falls asleep about ten to fifteen minutes later.

She thinks I'm asleep,but my eyes are nowhere to closing.

-

-

-

I haven't slept for two days straight and I think I'm going insane.
It's an evening and I got off work early today.
I sit on Amanda's porch as I get some fresh air.

My eyes are red,and I don't know why,but sleep has just sounded...out of bounds to me.

I stare at my shoes as I fiddle with a thread sticking out of my jeans.

I get scared any and every time I remember mom. She has to be in my future. She has to watch me graduate from college,has to pick out my outfit for my first internship,has to help me look for a proper job,has to be available for me to dump my kids at her house every weekend.

I think I'd probably die without her. The fear of me living alone is scary.

Live? Am I talking about living? I don't even have a freaking home!. I'm homeless as a matter of fact. Im broke as hell because I'm constantly maintaining mom's health.

The drugs and everything are eating up my bank account.

A hand touches my shoulder,and I slightly shudder because I wasn't expecting that.

Justin looks down at me,and he looks worried.

His eyebrows are furrowed

"Are you alright? You looked like you were on Mars?" He asks as he rests his hand on my shoulder. "Were you talking to yourself?"

"Yes,I was. What are you doing here?" I ask him

"Well,I called you up to fourteen times today and you didn't even answer any of my calls," he sighs. "I was worried"

"Oh,my phone is inside the house" I reply.

"Jess,are you okay?" He asks

"I am not" I reply trying to hide the fact that I love that nickname.

It makes my stomach do a backflip with the way it rolls off his tongue.

The boldness and simplicity that he summons to call "Jess" makes me melt.

"Why?," He looks worried. "Come in the car, let's talk" he offers.

"I'm fine here" I reply.

"It's hot and I'm sweating" he states.

I groan and stretch my hand out to him so he can help me up.

It requires nothing from him to pull me up,he does it with so much ease.

When I get up,I dust my jeans as we walk to his car.

He gives the driver a sign and the driver immediately steps out of the car.

****
"I'm scared that I'll die without her," I sigh. "If she leaves,I'll be totally helpless"

"You won't be," Justin scoffs. "I'll be here for you,Jess"

"I'm actually serious," I begin. "I've got nowhere to stay,I'm working between jobs to get a tiny apartment because I really feel like a parasite. My life just feels like a mess"

"Can I help with accomodations?" He asks.

"No,thank you. You've been of more than enough help"

"But I wanna help," he says. "Look. You'll have less things to worry about,I'll make sure the house suits your taste,and you won't even have to pay rent"

As juicy as that offer sounds,I can't accept that. I'll be literally crossing my limit and that is one thing I do not like to do.

I can tell Justin wants to help,but I don't wanna bother him.

"I'll manage, Justin" I say sweetly so he doesn't get offended.

"Fine then,can I help with her drugs?" He asks and I once again shake my head.

"Jessy," he whispers. "What did I tell you I love doing?"

"Helping?," I say.

"Exactly, helping. Just let me help you"

If his eyes weren't so pure,I would assume that he has a reason behind all this,but it seems he is just doing this for me.

"I don't want to stress you out" I repeat.

"You won't be stressing me out,Jess," he says. "And in case I ever miss you,I'll always stop by"

"I'll make the house a walkable distance to mine" he says.

"If you really want this,then you have to give me time" I say

"Fine," he smiles.

Thanks for reading. Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee,lemme know what y'all think about Jessy and Justin.

Do you think his nickname for her is cute?

Do you think she should accept the offer?

Please answer the questions,they really help me.

Love: Melanin3000💜💙