Peaky Blinders One-Shots

Thomas/Lizzie - Stay? (SPOILER S6!!)

Lizzie's P.O.V

"I am leaving." I said firmly, grabbing my suitcases and personal items, Tommy stood in the corner, "Tommy, I said I am leaving...I am going to say goodbye to Charlie."

Tommy cleared his throat, "Right Lizzie,"

Clenching my jaw I inhaled sharply, wiping my tears away I rolled the suitcase out of our room towards Charlie's room, "Francis it's me."

Francis opened the door giving me a sad smile, "He's laying in bed, Mrs. Shelby,"

"Lizzie is just fine Francis," I say quietly walking past her I sit down on the bed beside Charlie who looked at me with tears in his eyes, "Hey Charles,"

"Is Ruby really gone, Mum?"

Inhaling sharply I gently rub my fingers against his cheek gently, "Yeah, but sweetheart she hasn't left us...she's here." Grabbing his hand I place it on his chest, "She's in our hearts..."

He jumped off the bed leaping in my arms sobbing, "I really miss her Mum."

A tear slipped out of my eyes rolling onto my cheek, "I do too," I whispered, "More than you know Charles,"

"Daddy said that you are leaving too," His words broke my heart, "Are you going to leave me, mum?"

Hugging him tighter I shut my eyes, "If I could, I would take you with me too." I would take him with me, but I knew Tommy would never allow that...he would never let Charlie leave with me.

"Please don't leave mum,"

"Charles, that's enough." Tommy's rough voice cut the emotional atmosphere, "Lizzie wants to go, let her go." He held onto me tighter snuggling into me almost trying to memorize the comfort he felt in my arms, "Charles."

"Leave him alone Thomas." I snapped, He raised an eyebrow at me, I had never called him by his full name, today was the first time. "I am in no rush, if you have somewhere to be then you are free to leave."

He cleared his throat leaning against the door frame, taking a hit from his cigarette, "I don't have to go anywhere."

Clenching my jaw I kiss the top of his head lifting him up I lay him on the bed, gently running my fingers through his soft hair lulling him to sleep, his eyes were filled with restlessness, "Go to sleep Charles, I'll be here I promise."

"Don't give him empty promises Lizzie,"

Ignoring his words I gently smile at him which Charles replicated back, he might have no been my blood, but I loved him just as much as Ruby. If Ruby was my world, then Charlie was my reason to live...now with Ruby gone, all I have is him...but I couldnt stay with Tommy anymore, not after everything.

Charlie fell asleep in a couple of minutes, kissing his cheek once more I untangled myself from him, standing up I hide my tears from Tommy, before brushing past him rolling my suitcase to the front door.

Breathing out I give Francis a hug, "Take care of them for me,"

She offered me a sad smile, "Of course, Lizzie," Walking away from me she went upstairs, probably to Charlie's room.

Turning around I went to go step out of the gate but was stopped, "Lizzie!" It was Tommy, No Lizzie, not this time. Standing up taller I keep my back facing him, gathering the strength again I begin walking towards the car, "Lizzie, wait."

"Put these bag in the car," I ask the driver, even he gave me a warily look before doing as told, crossing my arms I wait,

"Lizzie," Tommy said roughly grabbing my arm so I was facing him,

"Let go, Tom,"

"Please Lizzie, I am sorry."

I look up at him, his eyes were glazed over, "Sorry for what?"

"I am sorry for never being there when you need me, I am sorry for not being there when Ruby...I should have been there for you, for Charles, for Ruby...but it's like everything I touch-"

"And there you go again." I cut him off, "You start right Tom, and then go you in the wrong fucking direction again."

"What do you mean?"

"Stop blaming yourself." I said firmly, "Ruby passing away has nothing to do with you. Ruby getting TB is not your fault! You need to stop blaming yourself, Tom."

"The curse,"

"Fuck the curse, Tommy," I snap, "The curse, the little girl dying is not your fault, your fault is...well was that you weren't there when Ruby, Charlie, and I needed you."

"I was trying to find a cure,"

"The doctors were looking for one too Tom, but she was young and...maybe it wasnt God's will to keep her down here with us longer...I am not blaming you nor will I. I am hurt and tired of getting left alone by you...I have always been here with you Tom." He took a step closer to me, "I have always helped you, either it was with your PTSD or losing Grace or John's death...I was there when Polly passed...but when I needed you...you weren't there."

Tommy took a deep breath in standing in front of me with his head down almost in defeat, "Do you have to leave Lizzie?"

"Do you want me to stay Tom?"

"Yes," He looked up at me almost as if he still had hope, "Will you stay?"

"What do I have left to stay back for?"

"Charlie," He answered in a heartbeat, "He never really met Grace, all he knows is you Lizzie...now that Ruby isnt here anymore, he will become completely alone..."

My heart ached for him, but that wasn't what I wanted to hear, I wanted to hear that he wanted me to stay for him...for us...for our marriage. "Just Charles?"

Tommy searched my eyes for an answer as I waited for him to continue, we stood in silence for a while, "Right..."I whisper sliding my hand out of his but his grip tightened, 

"For me," He said firmly, "I will go fucking crazy without you Lizzie please,"

I looked at him shocked, "I know...I know I haven't been a good husband to you, I know I have to make up for it Lizzie but I swear, you are the only thing that keeps me sane."

Tears began to fill my eyes, "After I had come back from the war, I had gone crazy...that's why I had come to you, to find comfort, to find sanity but my heart was reluctant to let anyone in and when it did it let Grace in...I fell hard for her because she was something that I had craved in the midst of all the chaos in my life...but Lizzie, she was my want, not my need. We came back together, after her death...after John's death...and that day at the canal I was truly kissing you...because you looked like my first love Greta. It was you Lizzie, and you gave me a beautiful child but life didn't permit us to share that happiness, he took away Polly from our family and...now her. All the women I have ever loved have been taken away from me, but you are the only one that stayed...please don't leave me now..."

Licking my lips I wipe away my tears, "Do you love me, Tommy?"

"More than you know Lizzie, more than I put into fucking words..." He chuckled, pulling me closer to him so I was in his arms, "Do you love me, Lizzie?"

"I always have Tommy," Hugging him I let out a big breath, his body relaxed in my embrace as mine did in his. 

He sighed in relief, "We'll be okay Lizzie eh?"

I giggled, "We'll be okay Tommy,"

As long as we had each other and our family...we would be okay.