(it's still the pov of Ron btw)
"Would you please just shut up?" groaned Ron.
"B-But it hurts!" sniffled Gregory, cradling his bruised fin.
"It would hurt less if you'd let me help you."
"You were the one who dropped me!"
"You almost bit my fin clean off."
"Key word: Almost."
Ron sighed. He snatched Gregory's fin and slapped a piece of frozen kelp on it, causing him to yelp and recoil, dramatically rolling away into the corner of the room where he sobbed quietly.
Ron moaned loudly😫 and contemplated how on earth he was going to nurse this fish back to health. This had been going on for almost an hour, Gregory was annoyingly persistant and refused to let Ron touch him(only Bart could turn him on anyway🙄). After a few minutes of some not-so-careful consideration, he turned back to him.
"One last time?" pleaded Ron. (😏), "I'll give you some sun-dried semen. It's extra crunchy."
Gregory slowly unraveled himself and looked up at the great shark, staring into his big, black eyes. He hesitated before nodding reluctantly.
"Thank you." said Ron, taking Gregory's fin in his.
And as soon as the kelp made contact with his scales-
"FUCKKKKKK MEEEEE-" yelped Gregory.
Just as Ron was about to remove it, the door burst open.
The grand, golden frame came crashing down and rocks whizzed past in all directions. Ron yanked Gregory by the fin, pulling him into his chest as more debris flew through the water. After a moment, Ron loosened his hold on Gregory who immediately began spluttering and coughing.
"Sorry." whispered Ron sheepishly, waving his fin around to help the smoke clear. He peered through the piles of rubble and dust, trying to see what had caused the racket. There, in the doorway, stood the sexiest fish Ron had ever seen.
"Almighty Cum Shark." Boomed his deep, hard, sexy voice, "I have cum to rescue my damsel in distress."
Ron and Gregory exchanged glances awkwardly.
"I suggest you hand him over, or i'll bang you up sty- I mean I will be forced to resort to drastic measures!"
Ron raised a brow, looked at the mysterious fish, then back at Gregory, then back at the fish.
"Okay."
"What?"
"I said okay. Have him, I don't want him."
"But, but you just-"
"He's a little bitch."
Another blast erupted behind them.
"Don't you dare insult Gregoryth Waterloo Tayyabs Jacobs the VI in my presence!" roared the fish.
An awkward silence followed. Ron stared at the explosion, dumbfounded, and then-
"Are you FUCKING serious?" he yelled, "Not only do I have to scorch another doorknob, but rebuild my whole evil lair? Assholes, this is ridiculous! if only..."
The fish in the doorway watched as Ron angrily began to pick up small bits of debris, muttering things like:
"How could they do this?" and, "Do they know how long this took?" or "You don't get fine marble like this everywhere."
(BART POV)
The lad seriously ignored my entire well-prepared hero speech just because I blew up his doorknob? He's no villain.
He's just a petty villain-wannabe.
Bart cleared his throat "My name is Sir Bartholomew Cummington Boldrock the LXIX. I'm assuming you've heard of me?" he flashed. a sparkling smile.
"Nope." said Ron bluntly (like my cock), flipping over a piece of broken glass, spitting on it, then adding it to the pile of rocks he held under his fin.
"Wha- ok... I'll need to file a report, this was clearly child abduction-"
"Do what you want." Ron spat.
Bart stared at him in disbelief, no one ever interrupted him. He opened his mouth to suck on co- to speak, but saw something glint under all the debris.
He bent over 😫 and picked it up, blowing 😏 away the dust to reveal what looked like a family photo. However the faces had been burnt off and the glass was shattered, the only shark visible was the youngest. He had a shag-gy black mullet and painfully uneven eyeliner, (Bart cringed and came but not in a good way) but he looked happy nonetheless.
"Is this... you?" asked Bart, flipping the photo over.
Ron's eyes widened and he sprung up, snatching the photo out of Bart's hands.
"No! Of course not... God, such a snoop- DON'T TOUCH THAT."
Bart had begun picking up and inspecting small items around the room. Plant pots, books, porcelain dolls, Ron's fenis. This didn't seem like the lair of a famous villain.
It seemed like the lair of an abandoned child 😪.
