Sarah Paulson mental health one-shots

Mina: Slipping

TW: panic attack, slipping into a semi conscious state, mention of being unable to walk, talk or eat.

Y/N:
I think in the long run things will make sense. But as of this moment nothing feels right. It's not for the faint of heart being a person. It's hard. And I've realized that. I realized that sitting on my cold tile bathroom floor. Maybe Mina had it right the whole time, being cold and having walls up all the time protects you. And I never have my walls up.

My eyes focus on the tap of the bathtub but even then it's blurred, my hearing is fuzzy like my heads been pushed under water and voices above it are talking. By feet are cold and buzzing as they fall asleep. I just want to sleep. 'Maybe I could just lay my head back and go to bed here.... That sounds nice..." my brain feels soft and I let my head roll back into the wall.

My ears fail to alert me to Wilhelmina walking into the bedroom. 

Mina:
"Y/N, I've been thinking about going to that art gallery down town-" I glance around the room to find it empty. I know she came in here, i watched her open the door and go inside. I walk towards the bathroom door and knock.

"Darling are you in there?" I try the door knob and it opens, showing me the view of my sweet girl sitting on the floor. Her face is pale and her head is leaning back onto the wall. As much as it pains me to know this, I know exactly what's going on. Y/N gets these episodes every few months, she shuts down and won't talk. She has trouble eating and gets exhausted easily. It happens when she's stressed out to an extent or sometimes it happens out of the blue.

I kneel down to her level, and brush her cheek with my hand, "sweetie, I'm right here. Let's try and get you to the bed okay?" I know she probably can't hear me very well or at all but if she can hear me I don't want her to feel scared and not know what's going on. I pull her up by her waist and slowly stand up, being careful of my back. I can't exactly carry her as much as I wish I could, so instead I sort of limp over to the bed holding her the best I can at my side before laying her down. I sit her at the foot of the bed and pull back the covers before pulling her up again and getting her under the blanket. She blinks at me, and I know that she knows what's going on. I quickly change and then make my way into the bed and hold her close to my body.

"Alright sweet girl, I want you to try and come back to me okay? I know that's gonna be hard for you but I'm right here and I'll wait okay?" I stroke her hair and wait. Sometimes this lasts a day other only minutes or hours.

(Time skip)

It been almost 45 minutes, she still hasn't done anything but I start to feel her twitch her head. Then she moves her feet closer to mine, and I know she's becoming more conscious. "Hey there... you've been away for a bit sweetie. I'm so glad your coming back around." She turn her head to me and gives me a weak smile.

Y/N:
I feel my body become less tense and I start to feel aware of my surroundings. I'm no longer on the floor of the bathroom. But leaning into Mina's touch in our bed. My feet still feel cold so I scoot them closer to hers. I feel her tighten her grip on my and I look up at her. "Hey there... you've been away for a bit sweetie. I'm so glad your coming back around." I give her a smile and put my head in her neck, "thank you."

"What made you slip darling? You seemed okay today?" She asks me, I think back to before I started to slip.

"I think I had a panic attack... but I don't remember what it was about. How long was I gone for?" I ask her in a whisper.

"An hour? But your okay now alright, and I'm so proud of you for being so strong. I know how tired you get afterwards." She smiles down at me.

"I love you" I whisper. She pulls my head up to look at her by my chin. "And I love you to, so so much"

I've been sick, I'm always sick. So sorry that it's been awhile. I Hope your doing okay, stay safe and good luck!  Xx