Ripped and Stitched

39: Life

Alison was very grateful that she had taken her GED over the summer. Going back to high school was of little interest to her. However, at her father's insistence, Alison had enrolled in a few community college classes until she applied to a four year university for next year.

School was mundane at best though. Alison's mind was mostly absorbed by other things. Depressing thoughts swirled in her head as she sat in her linear algebra class. At home, demons followed her to bed and even the safety of Max's arms was not enough to keep her from screaming.

He didn't know what to do. Everything Max tried was futile. He tried to get her to talk about it and Alison would shut him down. He would try to listen but she didn't want to talk. He tried just being there, but even his presence sometimes wasn't what she needed. What Alison needed was professional help. Something she was quite adamant on denying. She went to therapy every week, at her father's insistence, but she claimed it was useless.

Julia too felt Max's despair. Brady was not doing much better.

Brady snuck into Julia's bedroom every night. He slept better with her but he still squirmed in his sleep and flinched at her touch. Something they were both working on.

Both, Alison and Brady, were struggling to make peace with what happened. How could they?

Alison's vain attempts to avoid the past were not doing any good and Brady's attempts to find some good in what happened to them died with Kiera. So what could they do to move on?

"We're not helping," Julia mumbled to Max when they met for coffee.

Brady and Alison now had therapy together with Dr. Potter. While they had their session, Max and Julia got coffee across the street.

"What can we do?" Max asked back.

Julia sighed. "I have no idea."

That evening, the four of them went to get dinner together at the pizza place in town. It was quiet, not because things were awkward anymore, but because Alison and Brady were tired. They were exhausted from constantly battling their demons. No one seemed to be able to come to their aid and they were falling apart. Obviously, something like that was bringing the mood down.

It wasn't like the movies, where people suddenly wake up and find a way to move on. It wasn't like those sappy rom coms where the boy saves the girl or vice versa. It wasn't even like those adventurous ones where the main character learns to save themselves. No. It was far from it.

Alison and Brady felt total, utter, despair and nothing was making it better.

As Alison rested her head on her hand and stared at her pizza, and Brady numbly picked at the vegetables on top of his slice, Julia and Max glanced at each other and in that moment they realized something: this was the reality they would face for the rest of their lives.

Alison and Brady would have good days and bad days. Some days they would wake up and something would click and life would feel worth living. But then on other days, when their demons felt unescapable, they would give up, and everything would feel worthless again. This was the harsh reality of life.

"I think I'm going to go home," Brady murmured. He softly kissed Julia on the cheek and slid out of the booth.

Alison barely registered that he left. She was staring at a family across from them. Where the dad and mom were actively listening to the daughter tell some story from school. Something Alison so desperately craved: the feeling of being wanted.

Max saw it on her face. It didn't matter how many times he told her that he loved her. It didn't matter how many nights he spent in her bed. It didn't matter how unwavering his affection for her was. Until Alison could open herself up to the feeling, she would never truly understand what love was.