Ripped and Stitched

42: Secrets

Alison left the library and Hayden dropped her off where she figured Max would be. Sure enough, she found him sitting on a bench at the town park.

"How did you find me here?" he asked when he saw her.

Alison smiled faintly. "You're getting too predictable, Max." She took a seat next to him and looked out to the view of the park.

"I used to come here a lot," Max said quietly. "After it happened, I used to stare at the exact spot where the four of us fought that night. I used to think of all the ways it could have gone differently. If I had just grabbed you when the cops came. If I had forced Brady to drive us home. If we had just let the cops arrest us. If I had just shown up at your house the night before."

Alison inhaled a deep breath. Dr. Potter had taught her that. When things became too much she was supposed to inhale and then exhale longer than she had inhaled. It helped.

"I don't blame you, I hope you know that," Alison said softly. "It has taken a lot of therapy for me to realize that what happened to me was Leonard Alkins' fault and no one else but him is to blame."

"Still, I could have been kinder. I should have been there for you when you needed me."

"You don't have to apologize," Alison murmured.

"I thought you wanted me to apologize," he replied. "Isn't that why you are pushing me away by telling me to go to Oregon? You're still mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you," she whispered. "Max, I love you. I just don't know how I can love you when you give up your dream for me."

"Why not?" he asked. "I'm doing it because I love you."

"Am I worth that?" she asked shyly, looking away from him.

"Of course you are," he said at once.

Alison sighed and shook her head. "You need to go to Oregon, Max," she said. "We don't have to break up, but you can't give up your dream for me either. Chasing me isn't worth sacrificing everything else."

Max looked over at her. His expression was sorrowful.

"We're going to make a long distance relationship work?" he asked.

"You said I'm worth it, right?"

Max nodded. He took her hand and looked back out at the park.

"I just thought you might come with me," he finally said. "I thought you would want to get away from this town."

Alison frowned. "Max, I'm not staying here after I graduate either."

Max turned and looked over at her. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Where are you going to go?" he asked.

She shrugged back. "I don't know, somewhere new I guess, maybe New York," Alison sighed. "I just know I don't want to be here and Oregon is your dream not mine."

Max looked upset. He slipped his hand out of hers.

"What difference does it make? You agreed to do long distance two seconds ago," Alison pointed out.

Max frowned. "New York?" he questioned. "Why? Because of Hayden?"

"No!" Alison protested at once, growing angry by the insinuation.

Max crossed his arms. "I saw him drop you off," he said irritatedly. "Why else would you want to go there?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe because Julia is going there in the fall too?" Alison said, rolling her eyes.

Max stood up across from Alison and glared at her. "Tell me Hayden has absolutely nothing to do with it."

Alison didn't answer.