Choice

What time is it?

I slept in, I can't believe that I'm late for work. I always have my alarm on, did I happen to not hear it? I don't remember turning it off yesterday. My boss is going to kill me once I arrive. I wonder how much he's going to dock from my pay. How much do I need to catch up? I was already behind on my assignments, I didn't need this to add on top of that. My parent's birthdays are coming up as well, aren't they? But I have a deadline to meet soon, I need to get back to doing that.

No wait. I don't have to worry about any of that.

I'm dead.

I was working on that deadline I needed to meet. I didn't sleep properly for days, I was struggling to keep my eyes open the entire day. As I was walking to my car, I stumbled from the sidewalk and was hit by a semi-truck. That entire month felt like a long fever dream that never ended. I woke up for work, napped during the commute, and dozed off every hour on the clock at the desk. Did the project even succeed? Is it going to finish if I'm not there? I'm sure it will.

Why am I even thinking about work? I'm dead and the only thing my head is filled with is my job. Are my parents doing well? I'm sure they are. I wonder if I can still move. Do I even have a body? I'm trying to look down, but I don't feel my head. I don't feel my neck. I don't feel my eyes. I can't feel anything. Nothing is there. I want to move my arms, my hands, my fingers, my legs, my feet, my toes.

But nothing is happening.

I can't see. At least I don't think I can see. Haven't people said the afterlife is just black? Is there an afterlife? What am I talking about, this is the afterlife. I'm living in the afterlife right now. But am I even alive?

Aren't I supposed to be only seeing black? This feels more like a misty white, I can't be sure. I don't feel like I'm sitting in a vast emptiness. I feel like I'm floating in an airy snow. I can't even feel anything, but something about this place is different from what I imagined it to be. I can't taste or smell anything. Can I hear?

Yes, you can hear.

Who are you? How are you talking to me? Where am I? A better question would be, what are you?

Your people would call me a god. However, that's not the most accurate description of me. I am everything and I am nothing. I am infinity and I am zero. I am endless and I am empiness. I am everyone you have ever known, and I am you.

I am the whiteboard your teacher used in your 3rd year of college, filled with notes, and I am the blank blackboard to which to fill your fate. I am the uncountable branching number of paths of your future, but nobody knows which trail will be tread on. Perhaps only you, perhaps only me. Maybe even both of us, or neither of us.

Can you explain to me where I am? What is this around me, or not around me? This is confusing, I just want to know what's happening. What is going to happen to me?

Consciousness is a beautiful thing. The mindfulness of knowing that you are alive. The knowledge of not only the present, but also the past, and even the future. Philosophers have tried to solve what consciousness is, but failed. Science has picked up the torch only for the flame to go gentle into that good night.

What you're saying is that you can't tell me?

...

Do you not know?

...

If you're not going to tell me where I am, or what is going on, at least answer me what is going to happen to me.