After 17

Chapter 6- 17 Minutes

We hit the 1 hour mark. 1 hour and 47 minutes to go before we were in Hadley, Massachusetts.

Still no talking.

I reached for the radio multiple times but my mom had shot me several dirty looks.

I might've crossed the lane but I have a right to know why they got divorced. I picked up my phone and tried to text dad, but I guess my mom saw me out of the corner of her eye, because she snatched my phone and threw it to the back seat. 

"Mom, what is your problem?!"

"Who do you think you're talking to?! First of all, you are the one who made that little comment earlier about your dad! I know your dad is a good father, I KNOW THAT! BUT FOR YOU TO BLATANTLY DISRESPECT ME...I WON'T TOLERATE THAT!" My mom was turning red, her pale skin was now a hot pink. Her ears were a dark red and a vein was popping out of her forehead.

"Well, I wouldn't have said anything if you would've just told me what happened! You are literally screaming at me for something that you could have avoided. Why won't you just tell me what happened between you and dad? What happened that is so bad to where you won't tell me and I can't call dad unless you're not here?! WHAT HAPPENED TO WHERE I CAN'T HAVE MY DAD IN MY LIFE ANYMORE?!"

"BECAUSE HE CAUGHT ME CHEATING!"

My eyes filled with tears as silence flooded the car. All I could hear was my heavy breathing and the cars on the road rushing by.

"You had an affair?" I said, my shaky voice and falling tears were all my mom needed to pull the car over and look at me.

"Why did you do it?"

"It was when he got home. The day of the accident. Well, he got home the day before, but he didn't tell me. He wanted it to be a surprise. When he came home, it happened. He said he wanted a divorce and I...I couldn't say no or stop him because...I knew I was wrong. So when you got home we told you we were divorcing. And during your time in a coma, your dad worked out things with a lawyer but he was way more dedicated to you then I was, even with everything going on. He didn't miss a day that he was supposed to come visit you. He never gave up the opportunity to drive Allison and Alissa to the hospital. He was a better parent then me and that made me angry with him."

"I didn't know you could be so bitter over something you caused. If this happened, why am I here with you?" I looked up at my mom's face.

My questions must've brought more pain, her eyes starting to pool with water and those same eyes overflowing with tears falling down her face. 

"He didn't want to out me...he didn't want me to be seen as a bad person or for you to hate me so...he didn't tell you. Alissa and Allison's mom didn't know, his parents didn't know, no one did. That's why my parents think it's his fault we divorced. Sometimes I wished he did one thing wrong...but he didn't which made me feel worse."

We had sat pulled over for 17 minutes.

My mother tried to get back on the road but before she could, I opened my car door to make sure she wouldn't drive off from the side of the road. I started to scroll through my contacts list. There was an unfamiliar sight when I called my dad.

No answer.

Whenever I called, he answered immediately because he wanted to spend more time with me and talk with me more.

"Did you tell dad that he can't pick up my calls or something?! Why won't he answer the phone?"

My mom just sat there in silence. She didn't even look up from the steering wheel.

"Mom..."

She looked to the right, towards me, but not quite in my eyes. "Just close the door, honey."

"Mom, did you actually tell dad not to answer my calls?!"

She looked at me and then looked at the road ahead of us. "I asked him not to while we're on the road...I don't feel like hearing you talk to him or hearing his voice. However, he clearly didn't get the memo because he called you earlier. He's probably just-"

"You can't be serious, Mom!"

"I don't have anything to do with him not answering now!" She yelled. Her voice craved justification. She knew that what she did crossed the line but she wanted to be told that it was ok.

I was not going to be the one that lies to her.

For once in my life, I couldn't speak to her. I couldn't even look her in the eyes. Before we emerged into complete silence, I had one question that I had been wondering about during the trip. But I didn't want to think about asking her, because she would just tell me it's not important and shut down the question. The only one I could ask was my dad. I would've asked him on the phone but he wasn't answering.

-Text Messages-

Me: Hey dad, before you and mom got divorced you said you had a surprise for me. What was it?

Now, I just had to wait.

40 minutes go by. We're only 47 minutes from Hadley. I try to forget everything that's happened, I try to forget that I texted dad, I try to forget that my mom had an affair, I try to forget the address I saw, I try to forget the IV, I try to forget Vivianna', I try to forget Vivianna and Jack, I try to forget the accident and the party. I try to forget it all. I only want to remember one part of being 17 and that's my birthday itself. The day before the accident.

--November 21, 17th Birthday--

The cake was sitting in front of me with 16 candles rimming the edges of the cake and one singular candle in the middle. My smile was lit up with the light of fire and I was surrounded by people I cared for. My best friends, my boyfriend, my grandparents, my aunt's, my uncle's, my cousins, and my parents, my mom physically and my dad on FaceTime. I watched everyone's face as I blew out my candles, different faces with different emotions, all bringing joyful tears to my eyes.

As it was time for my party to end I heard , saw, and did things that would turn to lies, turn to memories, and turn to unknown infinite possibilities.

My father would make an unknown possibilty, saying that if everything worked out that day at his job, he'd have great news when he came back.

My boyfriend would have the first lie saying he'd make sure that my 17th year is my best, even though he was a main reason why it was one of my worst.

But all of it was made a great memory when my friends threw me in my pool while I had on a few layers of clothing.

It's all great to remember...until you realize that it makes you sad...and then angry.

Everything I tried to forget flooded back to me in a simultaneous fashion, but also in order. It moved quickly through my brain, an emotional rollercoaster of rage and sorrow.

Until I heard it.

*Bing*

My phone saved me from my own emotions that were surrounding me and eating me up inside.

Dad: Hey,  I called you earlier. The surprise was that everything went well at work the day of your birthday and if me and your mother stayed married, I could've gotten a position at my job that allowed me to work from home.

Just then my mind goes numb; reading the syllables that would've made me so happy before now engraves anger in my brain.

Better than a vacation, better than a new house, I could've gotten to see my dad more. I could've been able to go places with him and spend time with him instead of worrying about when his planes going to arrive in New York. I could've been with my dad all the time again...but I wasn't.

And it was my mom's fault.