Hypnotic

Silly bastard

Jeff walked out the door as he took a step outside, being met with the crisp, warm Croatian air. He took a deep breath as he walked over to Zoran. You know what? Today was the day. Jeff was going to confess his love to Zoran Milanović. Maybe it was the Karlovačko getting to him, or maybe Jeff had suddenly grown some balls.

"Zoran, hey!" He called out, running over to Zoran with a toothy grin dawning his face. The words he spoke were slurred as the alcohol started to get to him. He was a lightweight.

Zoran turned around, sparkly brown eyes meeting the familiar bald man. "Jeffrey! Jeffrey Bezos!" He smiled, greeting him with a warm smile. "Didn't you have plans with JFK today? What are you doing out here?" He chuckled as he slipped his hands into his pockets.

"Yeah, I did. He got hit by a car though. Shame I wasn't there to help him cross the street this time." He subtly boasted, trying to impress Zoran. "By the way, I wanted to talk to you about something sort of important."

"Shoot me!"

Everything stopped for a moment. This was it. He was finally going to confess his love to Zoran. This was it. This was his moment. His biggest accomplishment wouldn't be helping cross John F. Kennedy across the street anymore or starting a business built on unethical practices such as underpaying and exploiting the workers because he's a capitalist pig. This was so much more than that. He was finally going to get the guy of his dreams. His brown eyes met the blue-eyed man's gaze as he looked him in the eyes. His heart rate increased, his face grew red as he felt lightheaded. These were just the symptoms of a disease called love. An infectious one, that bites off of you. Feeding into your insecurities and making you more vulnerable than you'd ever think you can be. Some regret it, some don't. Jeff is positive that he won't regret today at all. So he starts confessing. "Zoran, I-"

He gets cut off by a ringing phone. "Hold that thought. It's Andrej Plenković, the prime minister." He picks up the phone. "Hey, Andrej, can I call you back? I'm in the middle of a conver- oh, alright. Thanks, bye." He hangs up the phone and slides it back into his pocket. "What was that?"

Jeff takes a deep breath. "Zoran, from the moment our eyes first locket in that Konzum on the yoghurt aisle, I have loved you. Everything about you is... infatuating. The way you speak with such... elegancy. It really gets to me. It's so hot. I could stare into your icy blue eyes for the rest of eternity. Imagine how powerful we could be, Zoran. The president of the beautiful lands of Croatia dating the CEO of Amazon. It's more than just power, though. It's love. I love you, Zoran. I love your eyebrows, and your black and grey hair, and your plump and delicate lips, and your one-sided smile, and your warming toothy grin. You feel like home to me. You're... you're hypnotic, Zoran. You hypnotize me."

Zoran's eyes light up as the bald man speaks. He had always loved Jeff, but he never knew how to go about it. To confess, or to not confess. He finally knows that the feeling is mutual. It's a feeling of closure, in a way. "Jeff... I... I don't know what to say! I'm appalled!" Tears of joy stream down his pale face.

"I love you, Zoran." He tries to avoid getting choked up on his words.

"I love you too."

The two pull each other into an embrace as Zoran sobs into Jeff's shoulder. After 10 minutes of nothing but hugging, Jeff pulls away. "Want to run to the Konzum we met at and grab some celebratory yoghurt?" Jeff says with tears streaming down his face.

"It'd make me the happiest president alive!"

The two spend the evening drinking yoghurt and walking around the streets of Zagreb. They have never been happier, and they never will be happy again because the ghost of John F. Kennedy flies down the street driving a tram and hits them both, killing them.

"This is for not helping me cross the street, you bald silly bastard," JFK says.

The end.