Final Piece

Chapter five

It's been a week since I've talked to Donghun. I haven't seen him, and I don't know if he's come back to the restaurant, and I don't care either.

Or at least I try to convince myself that I don't.

I know I've overreacted. We haven't been anything, just two people, talking to each other from time to time, hardly above strangers. I wonder how I could be convinced that he was single - yes, he has flirted with me and yes, I have hoped that he was genuinely interested in me. After I'd calmed down, I realized just how stupid I was.

I've taken a few days off, to clear my head and to study for the upcoming exams. Currently, I'm sitting at the beach, open books and notes in front of me. It's a surprisingly warm day, the air calm, no wind. Perfect weather to go outside.

I focus on memorising all the plants at the moment, using cards with the Latin names on one, the translation on the other side. It's tedious, necessary though, yet it helps me relax.

Plants have always been a passion, I've loved taking care of them since my grandma has started taking me with her to her garden at the age of eight, telling me all she's known about every flower, bush and tree in it. My father has said that she was obsessed, but I've always felt she's seen something he couldn't. To the two of us, plants are a source of calm and strength.

I'm fascinated by how living creatures, especially cacti, can survive in the most hostile conditions, how they're able to let their beauty shine with just a little bit of nutrition. To me, they're a huge inspiration, teaching me to enjoy the little that I have and to not give up.

I'm completely immersed in my studies, thus I don't notice the man that approaches me. Only when he clears his throat, I lift my head, blinking a few times because the sunlight blinds me. Then, my jaw drops in shock.

"Hi. You're Chan, right? May I talk to you for a second?"

I'm not able to answer his questions, but he doesn't wait, he sits down next to me instead, leaving enough space between us so we don't touch. He looks at the ocean in front of us, his light pink hair shining in the sun.

We just sit there for a while, not talking, even though he asked me to. I don't say anything either, my thoughts raging, fighting with questions, nervousness and my worried heartbeat.

The silence lingers for a while, and I feel on edge, wondering why he's here, what he wants to talk about. When I think about it though, it's pretty obvious. He must have noticed how Donghun ran after me the last time we saw each other, he must have realized that there's something going on. I feel bad, he doesn't seem like a bad person, and I remember clearly the look in his eyes as he's stood next to Donghun, how he's held his hand.

"I'm sorry... I didn't know he has a boyfriend. I'd never have let it come this far if I did."

I need to break the silence as the discomfort grows bigger and bigger with each second. It's a weak excuse, I know that, and he looks at me, his eyebrows slightly furrowed. He stays still for a bit, and I start to wonder if he has lost his words, but then he opens his mouth.

"You don't have to be sorry for having feelings. It's beautiful. But I get that you're confused, hurt even. And I'm sorry about that."

Wait, what? HE is sorry about it?

I feel like I'm dreaming, this doesn't seem real, and I expect to wake up, finding myself in my tiny room, in my cold bed, all alone. But nothing happens, and I feel the urge to pinch myself, but I force myself not to. I don't want to seem weird.

"Excuse me?"

The two words are all I can muster, completely confused, my eyes are wide, but he just looks at me and smiles.

"Say, do you like him? And please be honest."

He still has that smile adorning his lips. He radiates a calmness and a strength that reminds me of plants, and even though he's the reason for my nervousness and my racing heart, the second he looks at me I instantly feel myself relax. It's weird.

I lower my head, I don't dare to look at him. I don't plan on lying at him, I feel he deserves to know the truth.

"I do. He's made me feel special and my heart races just at the thought of him. I haven't been this happy in a long time."

I keep silent, but after a short second, I realize what I've just said.

"But don't worry, I'll get over it, I promise to back off. I don't want to cause you trouble. I could see how much you mean to him, how much he loves you, and I think it's worth to fight for it."

I feel the need to explain, to maybe calm his own worries, and I feel myself blush in embarrassment. He's his boyfriend, has been for five years already, and yet I've basically confessed my feelings to him. Stupid.

Suddenly, I feel his fingers under my chin, just like Donghun has done it, and forces me to look at him. I can't help but to compare their skin. While the silver-haired man's was warm, his hands big, the male in front of me has rather small ones. They're a bit cold, maybe from the weather, but they feel so soft, and my heart skips a beat at the contact.

I'm sure it's from the surprise.

"I know. And I love him too. And believe me when I say I couldn't bear to lose him. But I saw the way he looks at you, the spark in his eyes. He likes you too. He likes you a lot. I sense how confused he is, how much he struggles, and I believe he's just as hurt as you are. He hasn't been the same since we've been at Subway. And I don't want him to be unhappy."

As I take in his words, I try to comprehend what he wants to tell me. I'm utterly confused, furrow my eyebrows, whereupon he smiles. It's so sweet and genuine, it messes with my head. Why is he not angry at me and Donghun? Why is he so calm, so collected?

"I don't understand."

He retreats his hand and sighs, looking back at the ocean.

"I love him, and I see how much he suffers from the situation, the confusion that's caused by his feeling for you and his loyalty towards me. And you seem like a very kind and good-hearted person, and it wouldn't be fair to restrain the two of you from being happy just because I'd been there when you met."

I'm still confused, even more now. It's not only his words, but also how he says them. His voice is so warm, his tone genuine, welcoming and kind. A weirdly familiar feeling grows in my chest, just a hint of a flame though.

As he keeps his eyes on the water, I take a few moments to take in the man in front of me. His light pink hair is fluffy and soft, I wonder how it feels to run my hand through it. His features are delicate, even more than Donghun's, and his eyes are brown too, but where Donghun's are rather dark, his have more a milk-chocolate-colour.

He takes a deep breath, before he looks back at me.

"I want him to be happy, and for some reason I want you to be happy too. And I'd rather share Donghun with you than lose him."

Wait, what?

I don't have the chance to ask anything, my jaw being wide open as I watch him stand up and walk away. After a few steps, however, he stops, turns around again and smiles at me.

"Oh, and by the way - I'm Jun."