Final Piece

Chapter fifteen

Days pass quickly but I don’t really get the chance to talk to Marcus again as there are always many customers at the restaurant, so we’re both busy. The only thing he tells me is that his emotional reaction had to do with his mother, but the situation wasn’t too bad.

I don’t believe him.

I watch him from afar, and he’d appear as his usual self to anyone who doesn’t know him, always smiling and joking around.

But I do know him.

However, I don’t ask about it. I know how overwhelming it can be to be pressured to talk about something you’re not ready for, so I give him the space he needs.

“You’re a good friend, you know that?”

I force my eyes open, as I almost fall asleep on Jun’s shoulder. Lately, I spend a lot of my time at their house, sleep in their guest bedroom even. It’s more comfortable than living in this shady area.

More safe that is as well.

“What makes you say that?”

Donghun, who sits on the chair in front of us, looks up from his book. He wears a small smile and a caring expression on his face.

“Darling,” he starts, whereupon I blush and his smile widens, “you know something’s wrong, but you give him the time he needs. And I’m sure he knows that too, he knows you’re there for him no matter what.”

I avoid his gaze. I’m still not used to pet names other than Channie, however, Donghun picked up the habit of calling me darling a few days after our first dinner with Jun, while the pink-haired himself settled with lovely.

I would lie if I said I didn’t like it. It makes me feel like I truly belong somewhere. To someone.

“Maybe.”

I don’t know what to say, so I just keep my mouth shut. I close my eyes, and when Jun starts to stroke my hair, I hum contently and snuggle closer.

It’s not that I suddenly got rid of my anxiety or that my sexuality changed out of nowhere. I just feel comfortable with the two of them. And I trust both completely.

I can feel how heavy my head is, how deep and calm my breathing gets and how I don’t realize my surroundings anymore. The only thing I notice is a hand that is slowly running up and down my arm.

“Don’t you want to go to bed? You seem exhausted.”

Jun’s whispered words reach my ear, but I only half notice them. I don’t want to leave the warmth that surrounds me, so I wrap my arms around its source.

I soon drift away completely, walking on a field of vibrant flowers, all yellow, red and blue in am ocean of deep green, the sun shining down on me and the soft melodies of Thai music surrounding me. The wind plays softly with my hair, and I turn around, as if I danced with the scent of complete peace and warm happiness.

When I wake up, however, the warmth is gone, a blanket covering my body instead. I open my eyes, only to find myself in the guest bedroom, the walls white, the furniture wooden and the window framed by soft yellow curtains. On the wall opposite of the bed is a big painting of a sunrise at the beach, which reminds me of my first real encounter with Jun.

Jun...

I can’t help but miss his arms around me.

I wonder how I got here, as I must’ve fallen asleep on the couch. I’m pretty sure it was Donghun who carried me to bed. I feel a bit embarrassed, but nonetheless grateful. Even though I always wanted to be independent, I secretly like being cared of.

A sudden urge to see both rises in my heart, so I get up and, still wearing my pyjamas, open the door and run down the hallway. I can’t wait to see them, following my heart and my nose, that lead me right to the kitchen.

When I enter the room, the smell of fresh waffles covered in chocolate chips, strawberries and whip cream hits me. Donghun and Jun are both standing next to one another, looking into each other’s eyes lovingly, their fingers intertwined.

It makes my heart sing and a sudden wave of warm affection almost drowns me, the realization of my feelings for them shining down on me like the evening sun – tender, loving and beautiful.

And I can feel the emotions rise in my heart, spreading through my whole body, until they form droplets of happiness in my eyes.

“Good morning sleepy head. Are you hungry?”

I walk up to them and wrap my arms around them both. Before I close my eyes, I can see the surprise on their faces, but I’m overwhelmed by my emotions.

“Lovely, are you okay? Did something happen?”

I can’t fight the tears, they run down my cheeks and clock up my throat. I’m afraid I’d start sobbing if I opened my mouth, so I just shake my head, but tighten my hug instead and bury my face in Donghun’s shoulder.

We just stand there for a while, all quiet, Jun stroking my hair while Donghun draws pattern on my back. I feel bad, since they’re always the ones to comfort me, but I can’t help it. Surrounded by the smell of chocolate, strawberries and though, I soon calm down.

And I notice there’s a new feeling, slowly growing in my heart, one I haven’t felt since my grandmother died.

The feeling of being home.

“Darling, I’m getting worried here... Please, tell us what’s wrong. We’re here for you.”

I can hear the concern in his voice, and I know he’s looking at Jun with sad eyes; it hurts my heart. I don’t want them to be worried about me, I want them to be happy and smile. I shake my head again, and my voice breaks a little as I speak.

“I’m fine, I promise. I’ve just realised how much you two mean to me. I’ve never in my life felt this comfortable and safe with anyone, never before anyone has accepted me for who I am the way you two accept me. And I want to thank you for that.”

We let go of each other, and I can see how their expressions change from worried to surprised to touched, and I feel how they want to say something in return, but I don’t let them – I have to get this off my chest, and I know I wouldn’t be able to finish if they said anything right now. I’m way too emotional.

“You’re the most important people in my life. You gave me the strength and security to open up, and I don’t feel like I need to pretend to be someone else or to hide anymore. I don’t know how to properly thank you for that, but I want all the best for you and I would do anything to make you happy.”

I can see how Jun fights the tears, and even though Donghun seems more collected, I know he’s just as emotional as me. I take a deep breath before I say the words that I thought about these last few weeks.

“I love you.”