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"𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬!"
Nozel left the room, leaving me alone on his bed, feeling as if I was a disgusting mess. My body was sweating and moist, my clothes were basically dropping off of my body, and my head was already spinning. The main objective was to obviously get out of here before my nightmare comes to torment me again.
Slowly getting up, I fixed myself, replacing my clothes back to the way they were, wearing my underwear again, even though the feeling was uncomfortable because they were wet. I then put my shoes and my robe back on. I was still shaking, scared, the sound of my breathing was the only sound audible as I was looking for a way to escape this palace.
"I-I n-need to get out of here.... Quickly..." I whispered to myself, my eyes on the verge of pouring out tears.
Luckily, my husband likes his bedroom to be cold during the day, the window on my left was wide open as it had the wind flowing through with a bit of some rain droplets. I had no idea it was going to rain today, if only I knew that from the beginning, I wouldn't have to be here right now.
Quickly, I walked to the window, then I jumped out of it, using the arms of my robe to keep my balance so I could keep floating.
'Now I need to find Adrizeh.'
My baby sister is my main focus right now, I need to get her away from here as quickly as possible right now. I flew behind the palace where Nozel said where Adrizeh and Noelle should be. I hope he didn't do anything to them, if he did, I would be more of a shitty sister than I am now, I can't even properly protect someone who I consider my child.
"Y/N, do you consider yourself a strong girl?"
"Yes, mother. I do."
"Do you consider yourself strong enough to be the captain of the Midnight Ravens?"
"I... don't know..."
...
"Y/N, you consider yourself a strong woman?"
"No..."
"Then why are you the captain of the Midnight Ravens?"
"I... don't know honestly..."
...
I scrunched up my face as tears rolled down my face shamelessly, I was ashamed of myself, I felt horrible, I felt useless. I let myself be so traumatized that I can't even defend myself from being violated without someone saving me. How did I let it get to this point?
You could think about everything I went through, living with that monster of a husband I have. It was as if he reduced me into atoms, as if I was a slave, as if I was worthless, as if I was a submissive slut.
Those things aren't what I am... are they?
That can't be true...
I'm a strong woman right?
"Ms. Y/N!" I heard Noelle's voice call out from beneath me. I looked down to see her and my baby sister standing, looking at me in confusion. I glided to the ground and stood in front of them. They just stared at me, as if they were looking for anything that seemed off of how I was before.
"Mother, where were you?" Adrizeh asked me. Obviously, I don't want to tell her anything about my whereabouts and what just happened to me, she doesn't need to know that at all. Matter of fact, she shouldn't have to worry about me being traumatized or upset. And for Noelle... I don't even know.
"I... uh... I..." I try to start but I stutter instead, this is already going to seem very strange.
My eyes start to divert and look at our surroundings as I start to fiddle with my hands, I bit my bottom lip harshly as I was trying not to break down again. I'm trying to think of a place where they wouldn't deem suspicious since I did say that I wouldn't be too far. I can't say I was at the Silva castle, it wouldn't make sense for me to say that. They know I hate that place with a passion.
"Ms. Y/N were you crying?" Noelle asked as she stared at me with a look of concern in her eyes.
'Shit. I forgot I was crying.' I realized.
"Does it look like I was crying? It was probably the rain." I asked her, wiping the rain, sweat and tears away from my face.
We felt the rain get more heavy. My clothes got more wet with each raindrop falling onto me. I think it's a sign for Adrizeh and I to go home. I don't even want to be out here anymore. I just want to drown.
"Speaking of the rain, my mother and I should probably get going now." My white-eyed sister spoke as she looked up at the rainy sky, her eyes then went back to Noelle. "Noelle, I sense strong mana coming near us, you should go back to the castle now." She then said,
This mana that we were feeling wasn't just any mana. It felt cold, bitter, and harsh.
"That mana... feels like... Nozel's..." I said slowly, trying to calm myself down. "N-Noelle, if you see your brother and he asks what you're doing out here, just say you were talking to Adrizeh and then she went home because she wasn't feeling well, and if he asks about my whereabouts, tell him you didn't see me. At all." I quickly grabbed Adrizeh and held her at my waist as if she was a newborn baby and we flew away, leaving Noelle alone.
Luckily for us, our manor and base wasn't far from the royal capital so it wasn't a far trip, even with the rain crashing down from the sky.
Adrizeh suddenly looked at me and saw the sad look on my face, "You don't need to hide anything from me. I already know what happened," She suddenly spoke. My heart dropped to my stomach, initially thinking she's trying to scare me or if she genuinely knew what happened back in the palace.
"...What?" I muttered, giving her a scared look.
"Nevermind."
"... Oh... Okay..."
...
I was back in my bedroom, all alone again, in my bed. I had a servant tell my twin brother I was done with my duties for today but to report any urgent issues to me if necessary.
I felt so pathetic to the point where I don't want my face to be shown. My eyes were swollen and my body was weak, not even the weighted blankets that were covering me could stop me from shaking.
I don't remember hurting him, ever. There's not a single memory in my head ever being rude or hostile to him besides acts of self defense. If there was one person by his side, it was me; I would always be by his side if he was at his lowest. But why, why does he hate me so much? What did I do wrong?
"I don't know what I did to deserve this!"
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facts
[now that i think about it, the mentaire children's dad wouldn't be fully French but, half Egyptian, half French.]
[their mom would be Nigerian, but grew up in France]
