Saving Supernovas

Chapter 3

"What are you doing, Stella?" I heard his voice before I saw his murky figure appear next to me. I was at home on my velvet couch, or at least in this dream I was. "I think I'm sleeping, but why don't you tell me?" I grumbled.

I couldn't make it out exactly, but by the fire in those blue-green eyes, I could guess he was scowling. "I'm serious. You could have been in a lot of danger. You're a smart girl. You know better than to trust literal stranger 'with your life. You shouldn't have gotten that wasted by yourself!" I could feel the anger rippling off of him as he stood from the couch and began pacing back and forth across my living room. Who did he think he was? I made it back safe and sound so what was his problem? I sat up, getting ready to push back. "I can't even imagine the things he could have done to you Stell. How could you be so naive? Not to mention the fact that you haven't faced the biggest issue at hand," I could heard the disgust in his voice and my stomach dropped. I definitely hadn't made the smartest decisions but I didn't need a lecture this early in the morning. Why was my imagination screaming at me to face my problems? 

He finally stopped his pacing and turned to me, his blurry figure emitting exacerbated energy our of every pore. "Save me the lecture on self-preservation. Whatever part of my brain that wants me to deal with my problems today, tell it to shut the fuck up." I threw a pillow at him and he easily swatted it to the floor. When he crossed the room to look out the far corner window, I could tell he was running his fingers through his hair. "I can't tell you how to live your life, but I want you to think about long and hard about the rest of your life and tell me you want to deal with Tanner's lack of ambition, his laziness, how he treats you every fucking day Stella. Not to mention the fact that he's a cheating piece of shit." Now it was my turn to scowl. 

"Could you at least pretend to not be biased?" My voice raised in frustration and he turned at the sound. My own burning gaze met his blue green eyes. My breathing turned heavy underneath the heaviness of his eye contact as he crossed the room. My living room had never felt so vast. My heart pounded in my ears with each slow step and it became almost unbearable as paused in front of me. My body shook as he slowly learned forward and braced his hands on my thighs, never once breaking my gaze. "I know that deep down, you know exactly what you want Stell. You just need to find the courage to ask for it." The fire in his eyes had turned to a soft flicker, and I could swear there was a hint of sadness mixed in. 

I couldn't breath this close to him. It was like my whole body was completely frozen under his touch. After what felt like an eternity staring into his eyes, I finally managed a whisper, "I don't think you've ever touched me before." Shock registered through his features and like backing away from a predator, he removed his hands from my thighs much too slowly, took a step backwards, and then he was gone. 

I woke up in Lauren's king size bed, the sun leaking in through her sheer white curtains. I slowly moved to rub at my eyes and immediately regretted it, feeling the wave of nausea flow through me instantly. I sprung to my feet and sprinted to her attached bathroom. Throwing myself onto the cool tile, my knees screamed as they collapsed in front of the toilet just as I hurled the contents of my stomach into the crystal clean bowl. After a few more heaves, I flushed the night away and trudged back to my friends bed. I had never been more thankful for her extra fluffy pillows and down comforter. Within minutes I was back to sleep, and this time, I didn't dream.

"Gooooood morning sunshine!" Lauren announced over the phone hours later. "Could you be a dear and let me back into my own home? I need a fat stack of pancakes and a shower." I huffed a laugh as I forced my body to move towards her front door. I hung up on her just as I opened the door to find her still in last nights clothes and somehow still looking as radiant as ever. 

"Honestly fuck you for sleeping in your makeup and still looking amazing," I stepped aside as I let her into the apartment and headed for her room. I was pretty sure there was vomit stuck to the ends of my hair and I was sleeping in a tee shirt that came from who knows where. "Clearly," my friend started, kicking off her heels and pulling a pair of sweatpants. "You need a better setting spray. That's the secret." She was moving far too quickly for someone who was supposed to be hungover, but she simply breezed passed me back into the kitchen and began pulling out the supplies for homemade pancakes. 

"Have you talked to Stevie yet? How was her night?" I pulled up a barstool to the counter and started rubbing at my temples. 

"Apparently 5 times as good as mine." Lauren laughed as she began melting butter in a skillet. 

"Damn. By the look on that kids face when they left, I didn't think he had it in him." 

"Well she definitely had it in her," she smirked beginning to whisk the ingredients in a big pink bowl. I groaned. "That is exactly not what I wanted to hear this morning," she shrugged, a smile still on her lips. "Hey, you're the one who asked. Speaking of last night, are you okay? I'm so glad your friend got you home. Sounds like you had too good of a time as well." 

"My friend? You mean the bartender? I honestly don't remember getting back, but I know someone.. helped me in." I chose not to say carried, not wanting my friend to know how truly incapacitated I was. 

"Yeah he sent me and Stev a text from your phone just letting us know what was up and that you were here safe. Seemed like a decent enough guy." She flipped the first pancake. "Does Tanner know what you were up to?" Setting the spatula down on the counter, she spun around to face me and came to lean against her large kitchen island. 

"Uh, no. He doesn't. And about that.." I looked down at my ringless hand. Lauren seemed to follow my gaze and went still when she noticed. "Do you think I can crash here for a few days?" I looked up to face my friend and I could see worry in her eyes. 

"You know you can always stay with me. What's going on?" She braced her hands on the edge of the counter as if in anticipation. 

"He cheated on me." I dragged a hand down my face. "I don't know the details, I don't want to know the details, and I'm kicking him out. As soon as I don't feel like I've been hit by a bus." I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. My friend was still as death. I watched as  love and hurt and anger shone across her face before her voice dropped an octave. This was the voice of my serious friend. The part of Lauren that only came out on rare occasions when someone was in deep, deep, shit.  "Stelly I'm only going to say this once" I waited for her words to strike their target as she drew in a calming breath. "I will always support you and your decisions. You are a big girl and make your own choices, but I have watched you become a diluted version yourself for the past 3 years and I have been waiting for the day that that man-child fucked something up. He was never good enough for you and will never be good enough for you. I'm sorry that this is how it's gone down, but I'm not sorry that we'll get you back." I didn't have the right words, and the lump in my throat kept me from saying anything anyways, so I rounded the corner and enveloped my friend into a hug. She squeezed me tight and I hung on for dear life. Clinging to her like a lifeline, the emotions that I hadn't let emerge the passed few days finally bubbled up. A sob erupted from my body like one I hadn't felt in years. I cried into Lauren's shoulder as she rubbed circles around my back. I cried because she was right, I had lost myself so completely. I cried because now my future was so uncertain. I cried because I was pissed. But I had these amazing friends who would help me rebuild my life. I had endless opportunities open for me now and maybe that was enough. Maybe I would be okay. 

My tears quieted until I was reduced to sniffles, but my friend said nothing else. She only held me, steadfast and strong, until I finally broke our silence. I looked up from her shoulder, wiping my eyes and nose, "I think you're burning my pancakes." Lauren's small frame shook with laughter, and I squeezed her tighter.