A book that nobody wanted or asked for yet here it is

pokemon

*The squad is talking about what it'd be like to open up a homemade Pokemon gym*

Jay, joking: Lucifer's just sitting at the end, juggling- fushigi-ing 2 glass balls, in super tight pants, just waiting for their kid delivery once they best their minions.

Lucifer: Well they would be Pokeballs. And also it's not a kid delivery. There's no fucking guarantee that a kid that comes into the beginning of my crucible makes it to the end of it undefeated.

Lucifer: In fact, I'm gonna stack this gym! With fuckin pros!

Lucifer: It's- It's gonna be brutal. It's gonna be a torture gym.

Drom: Well- Well what's the theme? Are you like- is it a bug theme, or like-

Lucifer: YEAH, DROM. UH- UH- UH- UH YEAH DROM. IM GONNA OPEN UP A BUG TYPE POKEMON GYM. YOU IDIOT.

Lucifer: YEAH THAT'S WHAT I WANT, BECAUSE I WANNA GIVE- I WANNA SHIT OUT BADGES FOR EVERY HAM AND EGGER THAT COMES TO MY FRONT DOOR.
Jay: *Cracking up*

Lucifer: YEAH, DROM. 'Uhh, go Caterpie! >~>' That's me, you FUCKING imbecile. 'Yeah go- uhhh- d-do your best, Kakuna!'

Lucifer: WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING TALKING ABOU- Yeah a ~bug type~ gym.

Drom:

Jay: Okaaay-

Drom: Alright, um, I'm gonna go. I've embarrassed myself...

Jay: Maybe fire? Fire type?

Drom: Yeah fire-based? Like- have fires?

Lucifer: Yeah, yeah I'll probably just- That's a good idea Jay I'll probably just do a fire type one... SO THAT ONE KID WITH ONE BLASTOISE CAN FUCK UP MY WHOLE SHOP.

Lucifer: KILLED ALL OF US WITH ONE BLASTOISE, HUH? WOW. SHIT I SHOULD'VE-

Drom: Just do rock, then! Just do rock type!

Lucifer, voice dripping with contempt: The same Blastoise...