Shrek x James Corden

Late late Swamp

Shrek strode purposefully out of his swamp, with only one goal in his green head. Win the hand in marriage of James Corden, the most acclaimed British actor and late night talk show host.

They had fell in love at the Team 10 House when they collaborated with Jake Paul, the biggest star on YouTube, and James Corden's ex lover. Tensions were high, but with a single
"What are ya doin in ma swamp?"
the British man was putty in his large meaty green hands.

Sure, Shrek had a thing with Fiona in the past, but that was all over when she cheated on him with Donkey, someone he thought to be a trusted friend. She took half of his swamp in the split, so he moved to a swamp in New York, known as the Subway.

He got work painting carousel horses, a surprisingly thriving business, and he and the Cordenmeister fell deeper in love when he refused to ride any other carousel horse than the one he had painted in swamp green.

As the mighty ogre mulled over these precious memories, he reached the Cordenman's front door, the dressing room he lived out of. He was holding a ball of yarn, a tribute to Jammy Dodger's award winning role in Cats, a 2019 musical spectacle with stunning cgi and musical arrangements. Shrek shuffled on his mammoth feet in dread, would this be the day that he and JJ tied the knot?

As these thoughts ran through his large lime green cranium, the dressing room door crashed open with a hearty thump.
"Ello there mate. I'm about to film Car Pool Karaoke with Harry Styles. I don't have time ta be hangin around wi ya, come back lay'ah, yeah?"

Shrek's meme lord heart dropped. Once again he was being pushed aside for work. This was like Fiona all over again, except he had loved James from the very first time their eyes met from either side of Jake Paul's jacuzzi. Would he ever find love? Or was he doomed to not be the sharpest tool in the shed. He was looking kind of dumb, like his finger and his thumb were in the shape of an L on his forehead. Well, the years start coming, and they don't stop coming, back to the place and they hit the ground running. It didn't make sense not to live for fun, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to see, what's so wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never shine if you don't glow, hey now, you're an all star , get the show on, go play, hey now, you're a rock star, get your game on, get paid. Cause all that glitters is gold, and only shooting stars break the mould.

As Shrek came to this realisation, he knew what he had to do. He opened his wise ogre mouth and spoke to the short, sweaty British man in front of him from the depths of his ogre heart.