The grouchy man! (gay bdsm bl story +21)

Part 8

He looked at me and said:" I may have fallen in love with you"

I was shocked, I did not expect that at all, how did he say it that easily? does he mean it?

he pulled my pants up, zipped me up, tied my belt, and stood up slowly while looking me in the eyes.

he then said while patting my hair and smiling: "what's going on in that little brain of yours, I want you to stop overthinking, I want you to surrender to me, trust me and I will never let you down."

hearing those words from him made me feel some type of comfort, relief. maybe I finally found the person with whom my soul sings, my ego dies slowly, and my will escapes to his hands to sit there and surrender completely.

turns out it's not a girl, oh well, what are you gonna do? gotta work with what you got.
those feelings were too big to be destroyed over something that insignificant.

he continued interrupting my thoughts:" baby, I want you to relax and believe that you are safe, loved, and contained with me, I will always protect you with my life. I know I can be a little rough sometimes, but it's just the way I have always been, I'm trying my best"

as I heard him saying those words, I burst into tears, I couldn't help it, I needed to cry.

he hugged me so gently while rubbing my back telling me everything is going to be okay and that he is always gonna be there for me, with me, through bad and good days.

I always felt alone, not relatable, slow, different. I always felt insignificant, like I was never important enough or at all. I always felt this heavyweight in my heart, sadness, negative thoughts, blaming myself over and over. 

whenever I'm crying, I would just feel clingy to something, someone, like I wanted someone to come to hug me, contain me, take control over me and just be so close to me, that I could hear and smell their breath just to be assured they're still there, they're not leaving me, they have taken over me.

for the first time in my life, I fulfilled that longing of that feeling, it is exactly how I used to imagine it. I was crying, all emotional, the moment he hugged me, I felt a vibration in my whole body as if it was my soul connecting with me telling me this is the best feeling you will ever experience, and indeed it was.

I finally found the person I always dreamt about, the person I manifested, at that moment I knew he was the one, it was physics, science. my body, my brain, they were telling me to hold on to him, he is the one.

as I realized that, I smiled and got back to life, I got on my knees and announced happily:" yes, I agree to be your boyfriend and live happily ever after with you"

he chuckled, and squatted down to reach my level, he touched my face gently while looking at my eyes, held my chin, and said with a slight smile: "Why you gotta be so cute? don't you know i can't resist you"

my face started turning red and I couldn't keep my mouth shut, it was wide open, just laughing, smiling, feeling happy, life felt very good at that moment.

as we arrived home, he opened the door for me, held my hand, and kept looking at me the whole time.

we went to our room, we changed our clothes and went to bed, he kissed me goodnight and slept.

how could he just sleep like that, this was such a big important day, like we are officially dating now, how can he just go to bed.

I tried to wake him up, he was sleepy, tired and I could understand that but I couldn't sleep and I wasn't gonna stay awake thinking alone. I kept bothering him, until he got up, turned on the lights, and asked what was wrong.

I told him that I couldn't sleep. he came close to me, pulled me to his naked chest, and  asked me: "what's on your mind, baby boy?"

I said:" Are we now like boyfriend boyfriend"

he answered laughing: "yes, we are boyfriend, boyfriend"

as I blushed, giggled, and said with a light voice but with excitement: "so you are my boyfriend now?" and I giggled blushing

he smiled, looked at me, and said:" I am your boyfriend and daddy, and you my baby, are mine, and we will stay together forever, does that reassure you?"

I answered smiling:" I like the sound of that, do you promise you will never leave me"

he answered: "you will never get rid of me"

"shall we go back to sleep now, I still have to work tomorrow" he added

" one more thing, can we not tell anyone about us. I just don't want anyone knowing now" I said

he lied on his back, pulled me towards his chest. hugged me and said:" don't worry about that, just close your eyes, feel my body, relax and let yourself fall asleep to it slowly"

I did as he said, I closed my eyes, started to be aware of our bodies touching, I felt his skin in-depth, the deeper I get, the sleepier I feel. but then it was too deep and I didn't realize it until I woke up the next morning to jimmy getting dressed.

he was facing the mirror wearing a black suit and fixing his tie.

he looked handsome, as I said good morning, he turned, looked at me with a smile on his face, came towards me, kissed me on the cheek and said:" good morning to the most beautiful boy I've ever seen, how are we feeling today?"

I smiled and kissed him back on the cheeks quickly and said:" I slept very good, I feel good"

"Are you heading to work, why didn't you wake me up earlier to get ready"

he patted me gently smiled and said: "it's okay, you don't have to work"

what is he talking about, what am I supposed to do then, be a housewife?

I answered: "why? I want to. I just want you to be professional and treat me just like any other employee, let's separate work from our personal life"

he smiled and said: "okay big man"

he then pinched my cheeks and said:" I'll wait in the car for you, get ready and come"

I answered: "you don't have to drive me, I don't want anyone to suspect anything?"
he blinked with his eyes and said:" alright, then I'm going"

he kissed me and said goodbye.

I don't know, I just don't want anyone to know anything about this.

he is being really sweet to me, I feel like I'm in a dream, I'm scared this will go away, why the fuck I'm like that, the minute something good happens to me, my brain starts to scare the hell outta me, telling me this is not gonna last, nothing good lasts, it will go away, you're not worthy of it, one day he will see the real me and he's gonna leave. those monstrous thoughts living inside my head, how do I destroy them? how do I kill them so they'll never appear again, and let me live my life?

I took a shower and went to have breakfast, I found my dad in the kitchen, he looked still surprised, he said to me:" Is this really, where  we gonna live, isn't it expensive?"
I answered: "don't worry about it, dad. I have to go to work"

I wasn't in the right mood, I will deal with my dad later, I know just yesterday, I was happy, excited, felt like heaven. but it's just the way I am. one time I feel extreme happiness and the other I feel extreme sadness.  extreme motivation that makes me jump and defy the whole world, and extreme laziness that ties me to my bed and doesn't let me move a finger. I'm constantly in a battle with my thoughts, my emotions, even myself. it's just hard for me to understand IT.

I took a taxi and went to work, not feeling the best. I greeted everyone and sat on the chair.

he called on me so I went to his office, he looked at me and said: "you're late and where's my coffee"

what the fuck what is he doing now, why is he treating me like, one time he's like that, and the other he's acting cold and indifferent as he wasn't my boyfriend"

I was having a very emotional day, my emotions literally are gonna start pouring out any moment now, everywhere on everyone.

I went to make his coffee and I was so angry that I spat on it. I went to deliver his coffee but as I arrived at him, I couldn't do it, I felt bad. so I spelled it on him. it was so hot and it got on his suite, omg he looked so angry, probably a 20 thousand dollars suit on the drain. so, I could understand.....

me(reaching to him to help him wipe the coffee): "I will get you another coffee"

him(nodding with his head, thinking what is wrong with this guy): "because that's what matters the most now"

and he went to the bathroom. god, what a day, what a bad beginning of the day.

he came back, took off his shirt, and wore another one.

"what's going on with you today?" he said looking into my eyes.

"Nothing, I'm fine. you have a meeting with the loco company at 2 and at 4 you have to visit Moritz site"

he looked at me, bit his lips, and said: "okay"

that's it, that's all he said before he opened his computer, forgetting about my existence.

I got out, I'm still angry at him, really? well, even tho I'm the one who said to keep it low-key.

uh, whatever, I went back to my desk, sat down, and got back to my work. after 30 min, jimmy called Irin, remember her? the receptionist. why did he call her and not me?

the bitch got excited and even started pouring perfume and doing her lipstick. I was furious, why is she doing that, is she trying to seduce him? my head was about to explode, I had to do something, I couldn't just stand still and see him slip away from my hands.

                                                                                                                                                     to be continued...