The grouchy man! (gay bdsm bl story +21)

Part 11

Deep down, I was just a little boy with mommy and daddy taking care of everything for me, hiding me from the world, they were building a wall between me and the world, until one day, I woke up and I found myself right there, on the open, with no mommy, no daddy, just me, naked in front of this big world.

I felt scared, I felt overwhelmed, Crashed. I wanted to get back to my old life, I wanted to hide again, I didn't want to be exposed. I just wanted to lay low and keep hiding, but that wasn't an option, I had to fight alone against this big world and everything in it, I had to learn by getting crashed and torn. I didn't have someone guiding me, showing me how to be an adult, how to switch to an adult mindset. What if I was stuck in the child state, how to get out of that, how am I supposed to start caring about a lot of shit that I never cared about, how do I make the right decisions that are gonna change my life? how the fuck is my life depending on myself because I don't trust myself with that at all.

That child inside of me never disappeared, it was hidden inside all the time, until jimmy came into my life and brought it out. I just feel safe, protected, and supported with him, I feel like finally, I don't have to do things alone, I don't have to stand against this world alone, I have someone supporting me all the way. That just makes me feel comfortable enough to be my inner self, who I really am, not the shadow society made me develop by shaming the inner me whenever he comes out.

Society kept scaring him away, whenever he would appear, they would judge, invalidate, and just not understand him, He felt like a stranger, he felt misplaced, he felt overwhelmed like he didn't belong like he didn't know enough. They eventually scared him off, and from then, he just hid deep somewhere not allowing himself to interact or say anything out loud. And then I had to create something for society, for people, a face made up from all that society brainwashed me to believe is okay, And so I pushed away everything I am for everything I am not, for everything other people are.

But with Jimmy, It's different. He seems to like him, feels comfortable around him, he's not completely out, but day by day, he gets more comfortable, and he starts showing a little bit of himself everytime.

I opened my eyes in the morning, the first thing I do is notice my head on jimmy's chest, I notice how he is hugging me, how he smells amazing, how he looks amazing! He sleeps on his back with his mouth closed, his jawline is underlined, he is shirtless, his legs are covered with a beautiful brown soft microfiber blanket. His skin is so soft, the air smells so good with scented candles that were on the entire night, the sun is shedding its lights on the window breaking its way through the glass to light up the room centering on jimmy's beautiful face.

I never felt this happy just by opening my eyes, just being mindful and present in the actual living moment noticing every little detail, I got a breeze of this beautiful moment and I loved the smell of it.

I got off the bed, pandiculated, and just opened the balcony and got a taste of fresh air, I felt the air penetrating my face, moving it directions. I just felt harmony and peace. I appreciated that moment and got to the shower, used all the products jimmy has bought but refused to use because I thought they were too feminine.

I got off the shower smelling so good, feeling so good, and just started experimenting with all the creams and body perfumes, hair oils, and hair creams. I ended up smelling like a mixture of things, but I didn't mind, I liked the process of exploring every product and experimenting with it on my face, hair, and body. I enjoyed the process of finally forming an opinion about every one of them, concluding on what I liked, what I didn't, and which one was my favorite.

I enjoyed choosing clothes carefully, putting time and energy into them, matching, finding jewelry, and putting on perfume. I enjoyed the music that was playing on my headphones, while I'm enjoying the taste of the coffee on the balcony. I enjoyed the little freestyle dance I did because my inner self felt safe enough to express himself. And I appreciated all the ideas, the thoughts, the motivation, and they want to actually be something great that  I felt.

IT was a little me time that I never thought I needed but I never felt that good about myself.  I was filled with positive energy, I was ready to change the world. I went downstairs, made breakfast while everyone was still sleeping, set the table with love and care, and went to wake everyone up.

Everyone sat at the table wondering what's gotten into me, I told them not to start until I get jimmy.

I went to wake jimmy, He was still sleeping like a god. I kissed him and whispered on his ears:" Wake up, the sun has already risen"

He opened his eyes slowly while smiling all the way, looking like he saw an angel. He pulled me towards him, hugged me, and smelled my hair and every part of me. He said with a delightful look on his face:" Is this the best morning I ever had, I am so lucky to wake up  to such a beautiful person".

I feel beauty , it's everywhere, it's hidden, shy, scared to come out until one day you decide to emphasize it, make it the highlights, embrace it and fall in love with it.

I looked at him and said:" let's go, we're having breakfast, all of us"

He got off the bed and got on top of me:" What are you talking about? what breakfast, I want you for breakfast. You can't present me the most beautiful snack in the world and expect me to settle with the most overrated one"

I said nervously while blushing:" but, no. the family is downstairs, They are waiting for us. let's go"

He refused continuing to kiss me on my neck.

I said while trying to get him to stop:" No, please, let's go, I will do whatever you want"

As soon as he heard me, He stood up and said:'  I will claim that when I want" he said walking away

I said with a high voice:" where are you going?"

he answered:" to take a shower"

I replied:" hurry up"

"come help me, It will be faster," he said

" Go, hurry up," I said rushing him

I went downstairs and he finally came to the table, he sat next to me pushing Liam away. my dad and his were right across us and Liam was on jimmy's left side.

I poured everyone the special soup I made. Everyone seemed to love it.

jimmy's dad said to me:" you have such a great talent in cooking, thank you for the effort son"

" You're welcome, uncle," I said with a shy look on my face.

" How did you make it?" he asked

before I could answer, jimmy started touching me with his hands and eating looking so indifferent.

I couldn't move, I started stuttering " yes, uh, we take  potato and... uh, yeah, no, please" is how I sounded

Everyone was looking at me surprised not knowing what's gotten into me.

jimmy's dad's name's array said:" Alright, no need to feel this embarrassed. I understand if you didn't want to share your recipes"

I needed him to stop before I lose control. I said out loud:" I'm just going to the bathroom for a minute"

I stood up and went rushing to the bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror shaking, biting my lips, I was so turned on. For some reason, that gave me the feeling of excitement and blood was rushing through my veins.

I went back to the table and sat down, this time across from him, next to my dad, I was scared of not being able to control my leg when he touches me. He was looking at me the whole time.

S

I smiled at him and then continued sipping my coffee. Liam tasted the bagels and started telling me how they were very good.